300 Chapter 9importance, with heterosexual women fall-
ing between the two groups (Smith & Still-
man, 2002). One study showed that romantic
love and commitment were valued more by
women than men among heterosexuals, but
there were no sex differences when gay men,
lesbians, and bisexuals were compared to
each other (Meier et al., 2009).
Like heterosexuals, homosexuals
may prefer mates who are similar to them.
Because the pool of possible mates is smaller
for homosexuals, matching may be less pos-
sible. Having a mate of the same race (racial
homogamy) was viewed as less important
to gays, lesbians, and bisexuals compared to
heterosexual females and males (Meier et al.,
2009). One study showed a striking degree of
correspondence between homosexual part-
ners on demographic characteristics, but less
correspondence on personality traits (Kurdek,
2003). Lesbians were more likely than gay
men to have similar personality traits.
One concern with the research on mate
selection is that people are asked to evalu-
ate a single characteristic at a time, which is
not how mates are selected in the real world.
In real relationships, potential mates possess
a number of characteristics, all of which are
evaluated simultaneously. Trade-offs may be
made depending on the trait’s importance
and the degree to which it is possessed in a
mate. For example, you may prefer a mate
who is very nice and very attractive but, if
given the choice, you would prefer a very
nice average-looking mate to a hostile attrac-
tive mate. In a study that examined tradeoffs,
women’s and men’s choices depended on
whether the relationship was short term or
long term (Fletcher et al., 2004). Given the
choice between an attractive mate or a warm
mate, men were more likely than women to
choose attractiveness in short-term encoun-
ters but warmth in long-term relationships.that have evaluated the importance of a vari-
ety of characteristics show physical attractive-
ness and status to be relativelyunimportant.
For example, a 2001 national survey of 20- to
29-year-old women showed that 80% believe
it is more important that a husband com-
municate his innermost feelings than make
a good living (Whitehead & Popenoe, 2001).
The study of single men and women noted
above (Furnham, 2009) found that the most
important characteristics desired in a mate
were caring/loving, funny, and loyal/honest.
That study also showed that women rated the
importance of 8 of 14 characteristics as more
important compared to men, suggesting that
women have higher relationship standards
than men. A nationally representative sample
of seventh through twelfth graders revealed
that romantic love, faithfulness, and commit-
ment were the most important values of het-
erosexuals, gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals
(Meier, Hull & Ortyl, 2009).
In general, gay men and lesbians look
for the same characteristics in a mate as do
heterosexuals—affection, shared interests,
similarity, and dependability (Peplau &
Fingerhut, 2007). Do gay men and lesbians
show the same differences in mate prefer-
ences as heterosexual men and women?
Unlike heterosexual women, there is no evi-
dence that lesbians value a mate’s resources.
Having a mate with enough money is viewed
as more important to both heterosexual males
and females than to gays, lesbians, or bisexu-
als, suggesting that status is less important to
relationships among sexual minorities (Meier
et al., 2009). Like heterosexual men, homosex-
ual men seem to value a mate’s physical attrac-
tiveness, whereas lesbians do not (Hatala &
Prehodka, 1996). A study of personal ad-
vertisements placed by women showed
that lesbians placed the least importance on
physical appearance and bisexuals the mostM09_HELG0185_04_SE_C09.indd 300 6/21/11 12:40 PM