Romantic Relationships 3051994; Rose & Frieze, 1993). There are some
ways in which the first date scripts of homo-
sexuals are similar to those of heterosexuals.
Common features included grooming for the
date, discussing plans for the date, initiat-
ing physical contact, the actual date activity
(movie, dinner), and feelings of nervousness.
Several differences in the way heterosexual
men and women behave also appear in the
way gay men and lesbians behave. For ex-
ample, gay men place a greater emphasis on
the physical aspects of intimacy (sex) and
lesbians place a greater emphasis on the emo-
tional aspects of intimacy, suggesting that
the sex differences observed among hetero-
sexuals is related to being male versus female
rather than status. In addition, gay men were
more likely than lesbians to discuss making
arrangements for the date, suggesting that
both homosexual and heterosexual men are
more proactive than their female counter-
parts. With the exception of men being more
proactive than women, homosexual scripts
did not have stereotypical gender roles; the
features of the first date were equally likely to
be tied to either partner in the couple.TAKE HOME POINTS
■ Women and men agree on the most important char-
acteristics of a mate—kind, understanding, honest,
trustworthy, sense of humor, open and expressive.
■ There are consistent sex differences on traits that
are relatively unimportant in choosing a mate: Men
weigh physical attractiveness more heavily than do
women, and women weigh economic resources more
heavily than do men.
■ The nature of the relationship influences mate prefer-
ences. Sex differences are more likely to appear when
the relationship is less serious; men’s and women’s
preferences are most similar in serious relationships.women. There is quite a bit of agreement be-
tween women and men about how the course
of a first date unfolds. College students today
still say that men are more likely than women
to initiate sex (Dworkin & O’Sullivan, 2007).
However, the majority of males also say that
they wish women would initiate sex more
frequently—in part to share the work of sex
and in part because it makes men feel like they
are more desirable.
It is interesting that the burden of ini-
tiation rests on males when adolescent males
today report more awkward communica-
tion in romantic relationships, say they are
less confident in romantic relationships, and
more influenced by their partners compared
to females (Giordano, Longmore, & Manning,
2006). Thus, compared to the discussion of
self-esteem and self-confidence in Chapter 6,
the early stages of romantic relationships
may be one arena in which men are less con-
fident and influential than women.
The initiation of a relationship may be
more awkward for homosexuals than het-
erosexuals. One way that a homosexual re-
lationship may develop is out of friendship.
Lesbian relationships, in particular, are likely
to develop out of friendship (Rose, Zand, &
Cini, 1993). However, the progression from
friendship to romantic relationship may be
difficult for lesbians (Rose et al., 1993). Tra-
ditionally, women are not used to taking the
initiative in the development of romantic
relationships. Thus it may take time for the
relationship to move beyond friendship to a
romantic relationship. Lesbian friendships
may face the emotional bond challenge that
confronts cross-sex friendship among het-
erosexuals: When does the relationship cross
over from friendship to romantic love, and
are the feelings mutual?
First date scripts have been examined
among homosexuals (Klinkenberg & Rose,M09_HELG0185_04_SE_C09.indd 305 6/21/11 12:40 PM