The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

324 Chapter 9

SIDEBAR 9.3: Equity in Relationships According to Hugh Hefner

In 1999, Hugh Hefner claimed his relationships with his four girlfriends are equal. Here is

an excerpt from an interview with Hugh Hefner (by Terry Gross) on National Public Radio

(November 29, 1999):

Gross: Now, here’s something I sometimes wonder about couples in which there is a really big

age disparity between them.... Like, if you’re 52 years older than the woman you’re seeing, she ... In

some ways, she couldn’t possibly be your equal because you’ve lived a long time, you’ve been very

successful, you’ve amassed a fortune, and published this world-renowned magazine, whereas they’re

not even out of college yet. So, it just wouldn’t be possible for them to function as your equal.

Hefner: Is that of some importance?

Gross: Well, if I was the woman in the relationship, it would be important to me.

Hefner: Well, I think—quite frankly—that people are attracted to one another for a variety

of reasons. There is more than one kind of equality. And in my relationship with the women that

I am seeing right now, there is a very real equality in terms of who makes the decisions in the

relationship in what we do and how we spend our time, etc. But, I would say that the relationships

are more complementary than equal. Each of us brings something different to the relationship. I

bring the experience and the years and the wisdom and whatever. And they bring a very special

joy, [they] relate to life that is not so sophisticated, not so cynical, and very refreshing.

be time, money, and effort in maintaining

the relationship. One prediction from so-

cial exchange theory is that the person more

dependent on the relationship will have less

power in the relationship; the person who

has greater personal resources (education,

income) will have more power in the rela-

tionship. Because women are often more ec-

onomically dependent on relationships than

men, this theory may explain why women

are less satisfied than men. Social exchange

theory predicts relationship satisfaction for

heterosexual and gay men’s relationships

but less so for lesbian relationships (Peplau &

Fingerhut, 2007). The link of resources to

power among lesbians is less clear.

Characteristics of Him but Not Her.

Although there are common determinants of

relationship satisfaction for women and men,

there also is evidence that characteristics of

men are more likely than characteristics of

women to predict a partner’s or spouse’s

satisfaction. For example, men’s emotional

communication skills are associated with

wives’ marital satisfaction, but women’s emo-

tional communication skills are not related to

husbands’ marital satisfaction (Cordova, Gee,

& Warren, 2005). Wives are also more influ-

enced than husbands by their spouse’s psy-

chological state. In a study where husbands

and wives recorded their emotions periodi-

cally throughout the day, the husband’s emo-

tions influenced the wife’s emotions, but the

wife’s emotions had no impact on the hus-

band’s emotions (Larson & Pleck, 1999). In

general, there is more evidence ofemotional

transmissionfrom husbands to wives than

wives to husbands (Larson & Almeida, 1999).

Research on gay and lesbian couples

can help us determine whether the finding

that women are more strongly affected by

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