332 Chapter 9that is not genetically related to him. Sexual
infidelity should be less disturbing to women
because it does not threaten their genetic
link to offspring. Instead, women should be
more upset by their partner falling in love
with someone else, or emotional infidelity.
Emotional infidelity could lead the husband
to take his resources elsewhere and invest in
children with someone else; thus in that sense
emotional infidelity threatens the viability of
the female’s offspring.
In a now classic study, Buss and col-
leagues (1992) tested this idea by asking col-
lege students whether they would be more
disturbed by sexual or emotional infidelity.
The exact wording of the questions is con-
tained in Table 9.5. They found that women
were more distressed by emotional than sex-
ual infidelity, and men were more distressed
by sexual than emotional infidelity. In a sub-
sequent experiment, the investigators also
found physiological effects that paralleled
the self-reports of distress. Men were more
physiologically reactive when they imagined
their partner being sexually unfaithful rather
than emotionally unfaithful, whereas women
were more physiologically reactive when they
imagined their partner being emotionally
rather than sexually unfaithful. These findings
have been confirmed by more recent studies
(Schmookler & Bursik, 2007)—with one nota-
ble exception. The majority of both men andWhy would husband demand behavior be
associated with an improvement in wife
marital satisfaction? One theory is that de-
manding behavior reflects engagement in the
relationship, and wives are happy that hus-
bands are engaged. In both studies, demand/
withdraw behavior did not predict changes
in husbands’ marital satisfaction, which is
consistent with previous research on the pre-
dictors of marital satisfaction. Characteris-
tics of the spouse or relationship affect wives
more than husbands.Jealousy
In the context of romantic relationships, jeal-
ousy is the concern that there is a rival for the
other’s affections. There is little evidence for sex
differences in jealousy (Wright, 1999). When a
difference is found, it is usually in the direction
of women being more jealous than men. One
concern with this research is that men may be
less likely than women to admit jealousy.
Different events may inspire jealousy
in men and women. According to evolution-
ary theory, different situations should pro-
voke jealousy in women and men. Because
men are uncertain of the paternity of their
offspring, they should be extremely upset by
sexual infidelity: Sexual infidelity not only
jeopardizes the chance of a man’s genes sur-
viving but also means that a man could be
investing his resources into raising a childTABLE 9.5 EMOTIONAL VERSUS SEXUAL INFIDELITY
Imagine you discover that the person with whom you’ve been seriously involved became interested
in someone else. What would upset or distress you more (please circle only one in each set):
Set A
(A) Imagining your partner forming a deep emotional attachment to that person.
(B) Imagining your partner enjoying passionate sexual intercourse with that other person.
Set B
(A) Imagining your partner trying different sexual positions with that other person.
(B) Imagining your partner falling in love with that other person.
Source: Buss et al. (1992).M09_HELG0185_04_SE_C09.indd 332 6/21/11 12:40 PM