16 REFLECTIONS ON CHARACTER AND LEADERSHIP
relationships we develop with others are colored by the kinds of defenses
we use.
People who are in trouble psychologically (who have diffi culty bal-
ancing their internal and external lives) often resort to the defense of
‘ splitting ’ as a way of coping. Splitting is a tendency to see everything
as being either ideal (all good) or persecutory (all bad). The way these
people see themselves and others becomes so dramatically oversimplifi ed
that they fail to appreciate the complexity and ambiguity inherent in
human relationships. They tend to see things in extremes, idealizing
some people and vilifying others. The attitudinal pendulum shifts all
too easily.
One entrepreneur I studied made a point of hiring young MBAs
just out of school. He would marvel at their mastery of the latest man-
agement techniques and hold the new executives up as examples to his
other employees. He would tell them that these were the kinds of man-
agers he needed. Inevitably, his lavish praise would stir up enormous
resentment among the rest of the staff (with predictably spiteful conse-
quences). But also, just as inevitably, the president ’ s infatuation with his
latest recruits would soon exhaust itself and disappointment would set
in. No recruits could live up to his exaggerated expectations, and even-
tually, like the other MBAs who preceded them, they would leave.
When this same man sold his company, he was at fi rst quite enam-
ored of the acquiring company ’ s CEO, praising his new boss ’ s accom-
plishments to all. It gave him great pleasure to dwell on certain incidents
illustrating the CEO ’ s achievements. But as with all the others, this
infatuation did not last long. A request for more information about a
new advertising campaign from the private equity fi rm that had acquired
his company was the turning point. The ex - owner interpreted the
request as a vote of no confi dence, an attempt to fi nd fault with his
actions, and even as part of a plan to get rid of him. He had had similar
reactions to other requests from headquarters. Almost overnight, the
CEO changed in his eyes from hero to chief villain. Eventually, because
the entrepreneur withheld information, the CEO had no choice but to
make his fears come true, and let him go.ScapegoatingWe all have a tendency to externalize internal problems: we project our
own discomforts and fears onto others. When we attribute a threat we
feel to someone else or to an event, it becomes more manageable. But
if this tendency becomes exaggerated and if it turns into the predominant