The Sunday Times - UK (2021-12-19)

The Sunday Times December 19, 2021 17

MONEY

A

ll that I have, I share with

you,” couples often pledge to

one another as they tie the

knot. But to what extent

does this actually trickle

down to how they manage

their finances?

Couples tend to handle

their money completely sep-

arately, where each person is

responsible for their own accounts; in a

mix-and-match way, where finances are

partially merged; or “all-in”, where both

salaries go in the communal pot.

There is no firm favourite: 39 per cent

of couples keep their finances completely

separate, and 39 per cent are “all-in”. The

remaining 22 per cent use a mixture,

according to Zeta, a finance app for cou-

ples. Some are also more secretive about

the state of their finances. The Money

and Pensions Service, which is spon-

sored by the government, found that a

quarter of married people thought their

partner would be surprised if they knew

the true state of their finances, while

20 per cent had hidden debts.

As far as the law is concerned how you

split your money does not matter when

the courts come to assess your needs if

you divorce or separate. It can be hugely

important for some people to feel finan-

cially independent, however. We asked

some couples how they make it work.

‘We have some shared costs

but our own pots too’

Emma Lewry, 37, and her husband Sim,

38, from Exeter, have had a strict, orga-

nised finance system since they bought

their house 12 years ago.

Each month, they put equal amounts

into shared accounts dedicated to pay for

the mortgage, food and bills. They then

contribute to a joint account for other

household costs and their two daughters,

and Sim, a leisure manager, pays in more

because he earns more. Both have per-

sonal accounts for their own bills and sav-

ings.

“We will always have this sort of orga-

nisation,” said Emma, who runs a busi-

ness as well as having a job. “It works well

to have some shared costs and also our

own pots. When I was on maternity leave

Sim would say that his money was ours,

but I didn’t like it. I’ve always worked and

I like having my own pot.”

The only time there is any tension is

when their different views on spending

collide, Emma said. “I like to treat peo-

ple, and in the past we’ve had cross

words about my choice to use the credit

card to buy a round of drinks on a night

out. He says they are for emergencies, but

I think we have different views on what

counts as an emergency.”

‘I would worry if I wasn’t in

control of the bills’

Jolene Howells, 42, has been in charge of

her own bills and mortgage since she was

20, so she likes to keep her money sepa-

rate from her husband’s.

She and Gavin, also 42, have separate

bank accounts through which they man-

age their personal bills, such as phone or

car insurance. Jolene deals with all the

shared bills.

They pay for anything they buy for

themselves from their personal account,

and split other bills down the middle.

“It’s always worked absolutely fine for

us,” said Jolene. “If I was to let him take on

some of the bills I would worry about

them. I had a mortgage from the age of 20

and controlled all my bills. When Gavin

moved in with me he was very happy to

let me carry on paying the bills and he

just transfers his share.”

The couple ran into trouble when they

tried to remortgage because they did not

have a joint account. They had to sign

extra forms and there was “a lot of wait-

ing” before the bank allowed repayments

to come solely from Jolene’s account.

‘It would be weird to say

you owe me £100’

For Sinead Sharkey Steenson, 46, from

Belfast, sharing her finances completely

with her husband David Steenson, 47, is

the best way to stay on top of their

money. They pay everything into one

joint account that covers bills, personal

spending and everything for their family.

There have been times when David has

earned more than Sinead and vice versa,

but the money has always been shared.

“We rarely row about money, unless

funds are particularly low and I have to

rein us in,” said Sinead. “I understand

why people keep their money separate

but it’s not right for us, and this way we

have a better understanding of what’s

coming in and going out. It seems really

Jackson, a money blogger from Leeds.

Emma and Hannah, who earn very

similar incomes, keep everything com-

pletely separate. They pay their house-

hold bills through one account, while the

other person buys the food and any other

essential buys. At the end of the month,

they work out how much money is owed

to make it a 50-50 split.

Emma said: “I’ve always managed my

finances separately from previous part-

ners, and I’ve been very protective of my

credit score. Hannah managed her finan-

ces with a previous partner jointly, and

this would often lead to tensions so she

was happy to keep everything separate.”

They intend to continue separately

until they have children, when they will

both put into a pot for joint expenses and

keep personal accounts for their hobbies

and personal interests. “Hannah likes the

finer things in life while I like a bargain,”

said Emma. “It means we can enjoy the

things we like without feeling guilty.”

‘We’re old-fashioned, we have one pot’

Emma and Robert Kierman, from Nor-

folk, have a joint bank account that both

their incomes go into for everyday spend-

ing and a joint savings account.

“We’re both old-fashioned so we had

spoken about finances, children and

marriage during our early days together,”

said Emma, a 30-year-old business

owner. “Joint finances was something we

both believed would work for us.”

When the couple’s two daughters were

infants, Emma stopped work and Robert,

36, a gas engineer, supported the family.

The couple said it was important they

remained financially equal during this

time. They covered all bills then ensured

any luxuries were shared between them.

“We have never questioned or argued

about money because we are so transpar-

ent,” said Emma.

‘We argued about

the credit card’:

how couples really

manage their money

Joint account or totally separate bills? Imogen Tew looks at our financial habits

Doing it their way... clockwise

from left Roxie and Doug

Broun; Emma Jackson

and Hannah Bruce; Sinead

Sharkey Steenson with

husband David and children;

Sim and Emma Lewry with

daughters; and Jolene

and Gavin Howells

My bank

branch is

still open.

Amazing

I shouldn’t have

to be a tech

wizard to get

at my own cash

it — I eventually agreed to

have a “secure key”, which

was described as “Your key to

a greater peace of mind”.

This enabled me to access my

account on my computer —

after a lot of swearing and

shouting. Each time I logged

in, I had to use this titchy little

keypad about the size of a

large postage stamp. It

produced a four-digit number

that I put in on the screen.

Are you still there? Please

don’t go away. Some jokes

coming soon.

I managed this for about

ten years — even got used to

it. I could access my money

only at home, not when I was

travelling to exotic places, for

example the Isle of Wight,

where I have a holiday home.

A kind assistant at the HSBC

branch in Ryde (also still

open. Another miracle) said

I should really get the HSBC

app on my mobile. Then I

could access my account

anywhere, at any time. She

would help me. Alas I did not

know my Apple ID so I had to

try and set it up when I got

home. I hate ringing techies

for help — it’s bad enough

trying to get through, then I

can never hear them or

understand the instructions.

I ended up somehow ruining

my secure key and had to trail

across to Hampstead to get a

new one.

The app on my mobile

does work, hurrah for that.

Sometimes I am just such a

modern smart alec I smirk all

day. It is in fact pretty simple

to get into, but the print is so

small and my creaky old

fingers so weak that I make

endless mistakes.

Recently though a strange

thing happened. Having

successfully set up the app,

which I now hate, I could no

longer log in on my

computer. Was it my fault?

Had I mucked it all up?

So I got on the phone

again. As a Premier account

holder, I can reach a human,

awfully efficient and terribly

well spoken — but it is a faff.

I have to remember all the

passwords. Also, there is now

a voice recognition test. They

ask you to repeat the phrase

“My face is my fortune”. Hold

on: “My body is a sacred

place?” Sorry, that’s not it.

“My voice is my password”.

That’s it.

I get so nervous that I clear

my throat and start coughing.

I feel like an actor with an

important audition. I end up

spluttering and cut myself off.

Fair do’s, these are three

modern, high tech ways the

awfully nice HSBC bank has

created to help customers to

access their own money.

Such a shame I find it hellish

managing any of them.

Humpa, what a dummy.

Breaking news — at the

third attempt, I got a kind

HSBC person on the phone

who taught me how to access

my account on my computer.

Which is all I ever wanted.

Problem is, it involves going

into my mobile app first,

which I don’t want to do, to

get a secure code. Oh Gawd.

From now on, I will be able

to log into my own account,

but it is double the effort it

used to be, making me use

two different devices when I

am useless at managing one.

Progress, huh? Who

needs it...

One of my granddaughters

asked me how much money

I have in the bank. Cheeky

thing. They ask this sort of

question, but the answer is

meaningless. Anything over

£10 and they think you are a

millionaire.

“Loadsa money, loadsa

money,” I replied.

“No really, how much,

Humpa?”

My granddaughters have

always called me Humpa — a

combination of Hunter and

Grandpa. When my three

children were young I

insisted they called me

Hunter (very Sixties) because

I wanted to be their best

friend. They never called

their mother Margaret,

though — always Mum and

sometimes Madam. She knew

how to install order. I was

useless at that.

“Honestly, I don’t know

how much I have in the bank,

pet. They won’t tell me.”

She looked at me as if I

were a total idiot, not

knowing how much money

I have. But it is true.

I have been loyal to my

bank, HSBC, for well over 60

years. I joined in 1954, when

it was called the Midland. It

was my first day at Durham

university and I went to the

local Midland bank to put in a

cheque, paid out by Carlisle

Education Department, to

cover my expenses for my

first term as a student. Oh,

everything was paid for in

those days. I even got holiday

money and travel expenses.

We had it easy, eh?

I assumed that because the

cheque was a Midland one I

had to put it in a Midland

bank. My parents never had a

bank or a chequebook. We

used lumps of coal and

pebbles for cash.

In 1960 I got married and

moved to Hampstead. I

opened a bank account at the

Midland branch in the high

street, which later became

HSBC.That is still my branch,

and it is still open: amazing.

It’s probably the only extant

HSBC branch in the northern

hemisphere. I often go just to

look through the window,

ogle real live counter clerks,

clerking away.

When online banking

came in — it gives me a

headache just thinking about

Hunter Davies

VICKI COUCHMAN FOR THE SUNDAY TIMES

weird for me to think of saying, ‘You owe

me £100 for Christmas presents for the

kids,’ or whatever it may be.”

Sinead and David had separate

accounts and a joint account for bills

before they bought a house, but have

since merged completely.

“I think we’ve always viewed it as a

partnership,” said Sinead. “Any financial

decisions we discuss and make together,

even stuff like buying clothes or personal

spending. We agree before we buy.”

‘It might seem unfair, but works for us’

While the Brouns, from Norfolk, have

partially blended their finances, Doug,

32, gets to spend his commission as he

pleases. He and his wife, Roxie, 37, have a

joint account and a personal account

each. Every payday they put most of their

salaries into the joint account, which is

used for everything they need as a family.

Roxie, who runs a holiday blog, mumday-

sandescapades.com, keeps £100 for her-

self and Doug, a business development

manager, keeps his commission.

“We made a decision when I got preg-

nant,” said Roxie. “My salary dropped

because of maternity leave and then

going back part-time. It meant Doug was

contributing a lot more so we agreed he

would keep his commission. It might

seem a little unfair, but it works for us

because I work less to spend time with

our kids, and he doesn’t get to do that.

And he works hard for his commission,

so he gets to keep it.” Roxie said they

would shake up their system if either

had a big pay rise.

‘We keep everything separate’

When Emma Jackson, 27, met

Hannah Bruce, 29, she was

quick to initiate the conversa-

tion. “I have always been

very money conscious,” said

Emma and Robert

Kierman say they

are ‘old-fashioned’