Neither pretend that it doesn’t matter. Rather, acknowledge that it does matter—and that,
precisely because it does, you have decided not to repeat certain behaviors ever again.
Yet, once you have made that decision, let go of your past. Letting go of it does not mean
forgetting it. It means stopping the holding on, ending the clinging to your past as if you are
going to drown without it. You are drowning because of it.
Stop using your past to keep you afloat in your ideas of Who You Are. Let go of these old
logs and swim to a new shore.
Even people with a wonderful past are not served by holding onto it as if that is Who They
Are. This is called “resting on your laurels,” and nothing stops growth faster.
Neither rest on your laurels nor dwell on your failures. Rather, start over; begin anew in each
golden moment of Now.
But how can I change behaviors that have become habitual, or character traits that have
become ingrained?
By asking yourself one simple question: Is this Who I Am?
It’s the most important question you will ever ask yourself. You may ask it profitably before
and after every decision in your life, from what clothes to wear, to what job to take, from
whom to marry, to whether to marry at all. And certainly it is a key question to ask when you
catch yourself in behaviors you say you want to discontinue.
And this will change long-held character traits or behaviors?
Try it.
Okay, I will.
Good.
After I decide who I am not, and after I free myself from the idea that I am my past, how do I
discover Who I Am?
It is not a process of discovery, it is a process of creation. You cannot “discover” Who You
Are, because you should be coming from ground zero when you decide this. You are not
deciding this based on your discoveries, but rather, based on preferences.
Do not be who you thought you were, be who you wish you were.
That’s a big difference.
It’s the biggest difference of your life. Up to now you’ve been “being” who you thought you
were. From now on you are going to be a product of your highest wishes.
Can I really change that much?