C8 EZ RE THE WASHINGTON POST.WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 22 , 2021
does, epidemics and famine
around the world.
Even at age 83, she wasn’t done.
Her final years were spent start-
ing an association that promoted
first-aid instruction and emergen-
cy preparedness.
She died at her home in Glen
Echo, Maryland, now a national
historic site, in April 1912. Her last
words were “Let me go. Let me go.”
After 75 years devoted to help-
ing others, it was time.
[email protected]ACROSS
1 Abe Lincoln
feature
6 Starting from
10 Yarn relative
14 Pool owner’s
bane
15 Spitting sound
16 One slain in
Genesis
17 Dyeing targets
for some
18 Dollywood’s st.
19 Princess friend
of Gabrielle
20 *Generate funds
for a corporate
project, say
23 Pinkish hues
26 Archaeological
artifact
27 Ranges of colors
29 “Fantastic” J.K.
Rowling critters
33 Fortunate ones
34 *Condition
of steaming
water with
lots of bubbles
breaking quickly
37 EPA pollution
std.
38 Kept from
squeaking
39 Outdoor gear
brand
40 *Drambuie and
Scotch cocktail
43 Hogwarts motto
language
45 Watch closely
46 Poking fun at
48 “__ Survive”:
disco classic
51 In-group
privilege
52 Abraham
Lincoln nick-
name, and a
hint to a hidden
word in each
answer to a
starred clue
56 Not pizzicato
57 Domesticated
58 Loses on
purpose?
62 Trudge
(through)
63 A comet
was often
considered a
bad one
64 WWII sea
threat65 Fork over,
with “up”
66 __ Room: White
House banquet
site
67 Reddish centDOWN
1 Limbo need
2 Jeff Lynne rock gp.
3 Had __ at: tried
4 Wearying grind
5 Makes potable,
as seawater
6 Bldg. divisions
7 Take the helm
8 Prevention
measure
9 Auction ender
10 One hailed in
cities
11 Be on the
lookout for?
12 Headey of “Game
of Thrones”
13 Airline to
Te l Aviv
21 Te l Aviv home:
Abbr.
22 Variegated
23 Note in an
A major scale
24 Not transparent25 Edit
28 “Rigoletto”
highlight
30 Combat mission
31 Fast-food toy
giveaways,
typically
32 “The __ and
arrows of outra-
geous fortune”:
Hamlet
35 “Thrilla inManila” victor
36 Hit, as with
snowballs
38 Sneaking,
maybe
41 Three-part work
42 Sailing
deviations
43 Got ready for
the ice, as
skates
44 Chalk up47 No longer fast?
49 Andean grazer
50 Bartender’s
supply
52 Abrasive sound
53 Woody’s son
54 Clickable pic
55 Outdoor party
rental
59 Ages and ages
60 Summer shade
61 Oink penLA TIMES CROSSWORD By George Jasper
TUESDAY’S LA TIMES SOLUTION
© 2021 Tribune Content Agency, LLC. 12/22/21
least one occasion, she helped
wounded Confederate (Southern)
prisoners of war.
Her actions led Dunn to com-
pare her with George McClellan,
the Union’s top general. Noting
her knack for appearing at critical
moments, the surgeon wrote:
“Gen. McClellan, with all his lau-
rels, sinks into insignificance be-
side the true heroine of the age,
the angel of the battlefield.”
When the war ended, Barton
launched an effort to find missingUnion soldiers. Over four years,
more than 22,000 were identified.
She also helped to educate former-
ly enslaved people.
Exhausted, Barton went to Eu-
rope to rest. In Switzerland, she
learned of a new organization, the
International Committee of the
Red Cross. She returned to the
United States and in 1881 formed
the American Red Cross. She led
the group for 23 years, funneling
aid to victims of floods, earth-
quakes, fires, droughts, torna-CHIP SAYS
After a monster hurricane and flooding wiped out
farms near Galveston, Texas, in 1900, Clara Barton
and the Red Cross had 1.5 million strawberry plants
shipped there, saving that industry.kidspostKIDSPOST.COM
For more history stories —
along with those about
science, current events, books
and sports — visit our website.TODAY
Sunny skies return as highs head
for the low- to middle 50s by the
afternoon, and winds are strong.
ILLUSTRATION BY R YDER WESLEY, 6, WASHINGTONBY MARYLOU TOUSIGNANT
S
he was born in Massachu-
setts on December 25,
1821, the youngest of Ste-
phen and Sarah Barton’s
five children. They named
her Clarissa Harlowe Barton after
the main character in a popular
British novel titled “Clarissa, or,
the History of a Young Lady.”
Clarissa Barton, known as
Clara, would later make history as
the “Angel of the Battlefield” dur-
ing the Civil War and as the found-
er of the American Red Cross di-
saster-relief agency.
Clara Barton’s long life — she
lived to be 90 — was dedicated to
serving others.
She became a teacher at age 17
and started two schools, but left
teaching when a man was hired at
twice her salary. In her 30s, she
moved to Washington and joined
the United States Patent Office as
a recording clerk, the first woman
in that role. But her boss didn’t
approve of women working in the
government, so she was demoted.
These experiences led to Barton’s
later support for civil rights, espe-
cially voting rights for women.
After the Civil War began in
1861, she repeatedly filled her
mule-drawn wagon with food and
other supplies and traveled to
where the need was greatest. She
got the nickname “Angel of the
Battlefield” after tirelessly tend-
ing Union (Northern) soldiers
wounded at the Battle of Cedar
Mountain in Culpeper County,
Virginia, in August 1862. Noting
her delivery of critical supplies to
an Army field hospital at mid-
night, surgeon James Dunn
wrote: “I thought that night if
heaven ever sent out [an] angel,
she must be the one.”
Before the end of the war, she
had been with Union troops atbattles in three states. At the Bat-
tle of Antietam in Maryland, she
had a close call when a bullet
passed through the sleeve of her
dress before fatally striking a sol-
dier she was helping. Barton said
she could take such risks because
“it made no difference to anyone if
I were shot or taken prisoner.”She bandaged wounds, cooked
and wrote letters for the soldiers,
read and prayed with them, and
helped load the wounded into
trains headed away from the front
lines. She had no formal medical
training but, like many women
then, had nursed relatives and
friends through illnesses. On atT he legacy of nurse Clara Barton, ‘Angel of the Battlefield’Learn moreThe Clara Barton National Historic
Site in Glen Echo, Maryland, is
closed because of the coronavirus
pandemic, but its website has
great ideas for a class
presentation. They include tips on
dressing like Clara, making your
own Red Cross pin and bandages,
and getting a Junior Ranger badge
by visiting six Barton-related sites.
You don’t have to visit in-person,
however; you can mail your
worksheet to the National Park
Service. More information is at the
website nps.gov/clba/learn/
kidsyouth/index.htm.
Disasters can happen anytime,
anywhere, so you need to be
prepared. The Department of
Homeland Security has useful
information for kids, teens and
families at the website ready.gov/
kids.
Learn about Clara Barton’s life
from the Clara Barton Birthplace
Museum, clarabartonbirthplace.org/
claras-life, and the American Red
Cross, redcross.org/about-us/who-
ASSOCIATED PRESS we-are/history/clara-barton.html.
Clara Barton, shown in 1884, f ounded the American Red Cross i n- She had previously risked her life t o treat soldiers on Civil
War battlefields. LEFT: An American Red Cross ambulance in
France in 1939. TOP: The Clara Barton historic house in M aryland.
ASSOCIATED PRESS
BETH J. HARPAZ
Dear Carolyn: At
the end of last
year my wife lost
her job as a high-
paid exec.
She looked
around for a new
job for about three
months then
decided she
wanted to start her own business,
but it hasn’t taken off.
We’ve been married 15 years
and have three kids and have
always lived well on two incomes.
Now we live paycheck-to-
paycheck on my salary, and I do
part-time jobs on the weekends
to bring in a bit of extra cash.
I’m starting to feel pressured
that the financial security of the
family is all on me and resentful
that she is chasing a dream with
her own business and isn’t
pulling her weight.
I’ve suggested counseling but
she isn’t interested.
What should I do?
— Suburban DadSuburban Dad: When someone
does something to you, asks
something of you, or dumps
something on you that you find
unacceptable, it’s important to
name the thing clearly.
It is also helpful to
acknowledge anything positive
you see, to preempt
defensiveness and encouragecooperation.
And it’s important to be
proactive and offer solutions that
would be acceptable to you, even
if they’re just openings to further
discussion.
So, in this case you could:- Offer support. “I want you to
achieve your dream.” Of course
you do. Right? But it’s still a
kindness to say it out loud. And,
for what it’s worth, it doesn’t
sound as if she’s been at this very
long, by new business standards. - Name the thing: “It bothers
me, though — now to the point of
resentment — that you seem okay
with my carrying everything
indefinitely.” She needs to know
about the resentment, since it’s
maritally fatal if you let it grow
unchecked in the dark. And she
needs to know it’s not the
lopsided workload that bothers
you so much as her (seemingly)
complete indifference to your
working yourself to a frazzle and
her (seemingly) complete
unwillingness to say, “Hey,
thanks for everything you’ve
done, but this is on me now — I’ll
pick up work on the weekends.”
One caveat: Marriages are
complicated and memories are
long, especially emotional ones.
If there’s a history of her taking
on more — something obvious,
like putting you through grad
school, or not-so, like putting up
with high-maintenance in-laws
— then rephrase. “I’m glad I
could pick up the slack for you
this time and I did it eagerly, but
I’m starting to crack with the
stress.”- Request the fix: Would her
getting a part-time job be enough
to satisfy you? Or capping the
length of her business’s runway?
Or restarting her job search? Or
restructuring your lives to cut
expenses? Or just giving you
some say instead of assuming
you’ll carry everyone always? Be
mindful of your needs, hers, the
kids’.
Please also note this is a lot of
talking. A lot of you. It’s for good
reason, but it’s also of
diminishing utility if you don’t
leave room to listen as well. Use
your own experience to persuade
yourself of that, because, money
and kids and suburbs and job
losses and underwater new
businesses aside, your question
really is about the awful feeling
of being a subordinate in your
own life. Whatever the details,
the healthy objective is for you
each to be gently holding a rein.
Write to Carolyn Hax at
[email protected]. Get her
column delivered to your inbox each
morning at wapo.st/gethax. Join the discussion live at noon
Fridays at washingtonpost.com/live-
chats.Picking up the slack in the suburbsCarolyn
Hax