I am much worried about money. I have my own private account in
the bank and the school has its own. Lately there has been a loss every
year and I have been paying out of my savings into the school's account,
and I have hardly anything left for sickness, unemployment, Zoe's
career. Fees do not cover expenses. If I go on losing I'll have to close
the school. We must think of ways and means.
All private schools have to be inspected by the govt. authorities
within the next 18 months. With me it is no compromise; take Summer
hill as it is or shut it down.
Oh dear, you run away from me again; I can't follow you. You say
that genitality is a total bodily function with special qualities of energy
discharge. I try to think in terms of Zoe.
All her interest seems to be in things, in making toys work, in seeing
how and why everything is there. Her play with little boys and girls is
all out-going. Now that the kids have come back after the vacation she
is so excited that she can't wait to eat a meal, and wakens at night
unusually often. Watching her makes me convinced that I don't know a
thing about kids or human nature. She seems to me to behave almost
exactly like the kittens we have ... just delighted to be alive to chase a
bit of string. So that the more I think of the word genitality the more
confused I get. All I see in Zoe is Life-ality.
That is wonderful news about Steig's mother. But I take it you still
hold that no box will cure cancer so long as the psychosomatic condition
is a tied-up one of tension.
I gave up smoking three weeks ago because the English cigarettes
were making my throat very bad, and also were costing me about 7
dollars a week. When I return to you in summer 1950 I wonder if a
carton of Chesterfields will tempt me to smoke again. Anyway I've
already saved 2 J dollars ... said he mournfully.
Love to you all, and write again soon by air this time.
- I •
Forest Hills, N ew York
January 31 , 19 49
My dear Neill:
I agree fully with you now since you realized that Zoe and
Peter behave exactly like kittens. And this is exactly what all the quarrel
is about. Human beings are born healthy because they are born as little
animals and nothing else. Now, the only difference between the later