“Studious Retirement” 1632–1638unforthcoming about his vocational plans. Clearly, this friend was not an intimate
with whom Milton could share his innermost doubts and aspirations. He frankly
admits to “tardie moving” and “a certaine belatednesse,” and he reveals his anxie-
ties in surprisingly harsh descriptions of his retired life. It is “as yet obscure, &
unserviceable to mankind”; its conditions are like those caused by the “sin of curi-
osity... wherby a man cutts himselfe off from all action & becomes the most
helplesse, pusilanimous & unweapon’d creature in the [world].” It is also an “af-
fected solitarinesse” that denies the most powerful inclinations of a man and a scholar
- family and fame:
There is against yt [his supposed inclination to the retired life] a much more potent
inclination imbred which about this tyme of a mans life sollicits most, the desire of
house & family of his owne to which nothing is esteemed more helpefull then the
early entring into credible employment... and though this were anough yet there is
to this another act if not of pure, yet of refined nature no lesse available to dissuade
prolonged obscurity, a desire of honour & repute, & immortall fame seated in the
brest of every true scholar which all make hast to by the readiest ways of publishing &
divulging conceived merits as well those that shall as those that never shall obtaine it.
(CPW I, 319–20)I think we need not doubt the strength of both desires, and their expression here
may shed some light on Milton’s preoccupation with chastity during these years.
He recognizes that he is in no position to marry until he is settled in a career, and he
considers himself bound on religious grounds to live a celibate life until he marries.
So, typically, he makes a great virtue of his necessity. Also, the curious mix of
diffidence and high aspiration he admits to suggests one reason he published his first
poems hesitantly and anonymously: he wanted the work for which he first became
known to win the fame he craved – unlike those unworthy others who foolishly
rush into print. As for the ministry, he does not commit to it, nor yet quite reject it,
but explains (awkwardly) that his delay stems from much reflection on the import
of the parable of the talents,
from due & tymely obedience to that command in the gospell set out by the terrible
seasing of him that hid the talent. it is more probable therfore that not the endlesse
delight of speculation but this very consideration of that great commandment does
not presse forward as soone as may be to underg[o] but keeps off with a sacred rever-
ence & religious advisement how best to undergoe[,] not taking thought of beeing
late so it give advantage to be more fit. (CPW I, 320)He can jest about himself as a minister – since he has tired this auditor by preaching
he would surely tire a congregation – but he cannot seriously project himself into
that role. To this friend he says nothing about poetry.
Perhaps prompted by these anxieties, Milton wrote at about this time three short