APRIL 13
Was he still hovering about the house at home, the essence
of himself, and were I there would I perceive his presence?...I
fought off the mighty yearning to go in search of him,
wherever he was. For surely he was looking for me, too. We
were ill at ease, always, when apart. But where are the
pathways?
—PEARL BUCKThis quandary presents itself to all who have lost loved ones.
My mother, months after my father’s death, said to me, “He
must be somewhere where I can find him.”
A year later, I, looking up into a starlit night soon after
my daughter’s death, thought—Maybe that’s where she is,
up there among the stars.
In some ways these are heartbreaking conjectures, because
there are no answers, no destinations this side of death to
which we can travel to find our lost love.
Yet sometimes we do feel his or her spirit hovering near.
Whether it is our own projection or, in some way, the visiting
spirit of our loved one, we have no way of knowing. We
would like it to be our loved one—some contact, some assur-
ance of continuing life. But oddly enough, perhaps it doesn’t
matter a great deal. If we are comforted, let’s be grateful for
that. And if this easing of the spirit comes from our own
imagination—well, the Creator of life gave us our imagina-
tion, too.
I will be open to the ways my love and I care for each other.