MAY 19
She thought of the women at Chicken Little’s funeral...What
she had regarded since as unbecoming behavior seemed fit-
ting to her now; they were screaming at the neck of God, his
giant nape, the vast back-of-the-head that he had turned on
them in death. But it seemed to her now it was not a fist-
shaking grief they were keening but rather a simple obliga-
tion to say something, do something, feel something about
the dead. They could not let that heart-smashing event pass
unrecorded, unidentified.
—TONI MORRISONMany of us have been slow to recognize the value of express-
ing the full force of anguish and despair. We may think
displays of strong emotions are somehow unseemly.
Grief is not a test. There’s no grading. No passing or fail-
ing. But if our tendency is to clamp down on our feelings
because we think it’s better for us or less disturbing to others,
we might try going somewhere we’re not likely to be
heard—and let it out. Scream. Yell. Berate. Wail. Pound on
the wall.
Some hospitals have “screaming rooms”—places where
the newly bereaved can go and scream and rail without fear
of disturbing others and/or embarrassing themselves.
Not a pretty sight or sound? A human sound.
I will take my cues from within, and not be afraid.