MAY 29
Did someone say that there would be an end,
An end, Oh, an end, to love and mourning?
—MAY SARTONNo, not to either. And that’s the comfort, I suppose—that
though we don’t ever “get over” a major loss, we don’t “get
over” the love we shared with that person, either—a love
that, in ways we will come to know, stays with us and con-
tinues to enrich our life over the years.
But, a caution. We need not confuse the mourning with
the image of the person we loved. If we allow them to
overlap too much, then we cannot let go of the mourning
because we would lose the loved one, too. But they are dif-
ferent, and we will do better with our lives if, as soon as we
are able, we make a conscious separation of the loved person
from the grief over his or her loss. Each has its place, but
they don’t always need to blend together.
Though I know my memory of my loved one will always carry a
tinge of sadness, I will be able to put that in the background—if I
want to.