JANUARY 11
You could put the meaning of original sin this way: given a
choice we would rather sulk than rejoin the party.
—ROBERT FARRAR CAPONOften with loss, especially if it has been sudden and un-
timely, we are tempted to dig in our heels at the last moment
before the loss occurred. We will resist. We do not consent.
It is a way of trying to hold on to the loved one, the person
we knew before tragedy struck. It is also a form of denial.
To rejoin life is to accept what has happened. But it is unac-
ceptable. We will hold our breath, living in a suspended
state of noncompliance, until the universe relents, changes
its mind—or at least apologizes, acknowledging its crime.
This will not happen. It is we who will be bypassed. Better,
as soon as possible, to realize that the terms are different
now, and begin to live in this changed reality.
Anger is okay. Denial will hurt no one but me and those I love.