FEBRUARY 2
She thought that she had never before had a chance to realize
the strength that human beings have, to endure; she loved
and revered all those who had ever suffered, even those who
had failed to endure.
—JAMES AGEEIt is true that grief extends our sensibilities. We find we have
a sudden kinship with those who have suffered losses sim-
ilar to ours. We may, like the woman in Agee’s story who
had been recently widowed, find ourselves in awe of the
strength in ourselves to simply go on living in the face of
such suffering. We realize how much we have been spared,
not to have encountered this kind of grief before, and our
hearts go out to those who are young and sustain a major
grief too soon, before they have had carefree years to treas-
ure.
All of this comes as a kind of astonishment in the first
period of grief. Like our plunging into cold water, it takes
our breath away. The shock alters all our perceptions. Then
we get used to it. Our bodies warm to it and we begin to
swim.
In my ability to endure I see a strength I didn’t know I had.