TOXIC CRUSADERS
Suddenly, awful news! I receive word that Duke Halfdan
of Mercia and his vassals have abandoned Catholicism for
Iconoclasm. Naturally, I resist the temptation of this
heresy, and consider how best to address it. The most
sensible thing seems to be to begin an eight-year plot to
abduct Halfdan, so that I
can teach him the error of
his ways and save his soul.
So that’s what I do.
The pope now likes me!
Not much, but a win’s a
win. I find that my vassal
Count Sigfus doesn’t like
me very much, though, so I
start a new scheme to sway
him too. I start to win him
over, but not before I’m
informed that I have bandits running throughout my
realm once again. Oh Yosi, you silly medieval sausage!
Can’t you do anything right? I decide to find him a wife
with high martial (and, hopefully, marital) skill, perhaps
she can teach him a thing or two. I am, I would hope,
invited to the wedding and made best man.
I HAVE BANDITS
RUNNING
THROUGHOUT MY
REALM ONCE AGAIN
With my friend Yosi in loving hands, and my wife
having a break from giving birth, I decide to go on a
pilgrimage to Jerusalem. I hoped that this would make
me more wise, just, pious and enlightened, but things start
to get a bit weird. I visit Sigfus, and notice a few things I
might be able to help him with in order to endear myself
to him. Which is fine... but
I’m simultaneously
halfway around the world
on my pilgrimage. Have I
mastered the art of astral
projection? This seems like
kind of a frivolous use of
my supernatural powers.
Nevertheless, desperate
to be the wise, loving and
loved ruler of island, I try
my best to help Sigfus
secure and tidy his place. However, like a Middle Ages Mr
Bean, I just manage make things worse, and lower his
opinion of me even further. I somehow return from my
lengthy pilgrimage after this, presumably in God’s good
books but now deeply in debt. My quest to prove that nice
guys don’t have to finish last continues...I’ll teach this heretic the error
of his ways. I hope.EXTRA LIFE
DIARY (^) I MOD SPOTLIGHT I REINSTALL I WHY I LOVE
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Hmm, where to spread
righteousness next?
Marrying off my son to keep
him out of trouble.