had all of their nutritional needs taken care of but lacked an attachment
figure (such as infants raised in institutions or displaced during the
Second World War) failed to develop normally. They showed stunted
physical, intellectual, emotional, and social development. Ainsworth’s
and Bowlby’s studies made it clear that the connection between infant
and caretaker was as essential for the child’s survival as food and
water.

ATTACHMENT NEEDS: THEY’RE NOT JUST FOR

CHILDREN

Bowlby always claimed that attachment is an integral part of human
behavior throughout the entire lifespan. But it wasn’t until the late
1980s that Cindy Hazan and Philip Shaver, pioneers in the field of
adult attachment, published a “love quiz” in the Rocky Mountain News
that confirmed this hypothesis. In the quiz, they asked volunteers to
mark the one statement out of three that best described their feelings
and attitudes in relationships. The three statements corresponded to
the three attachment styles and read as follows:

• I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable
  depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t
  often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting
  too close to me. (Measure of the secure attachment style)


• I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it
  difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to
  depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and
  often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel
  comfortable being. (Measure of the avoidant attachment style)


• I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I
  often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want
  to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person
  and this desire sometimes scares people away. (Measure of
  the anxious attachment style)