Filters: Sex and Other Misconceptions 175
and anger would interrupt the meeting because he construes your
gesture as a foul insult that questions his parentage.
If the impact of cultural taboos can limit your options on
adaptors—truly involuntary gestures—imagine the impact on the
more intentional gestures of barriering and illustrating. Male culture
alone affects how American men illustrate their thoughts and bar-
rier themselves. When was the last time you saw an American
man purse his lips, hand on hips, flounce, tilt his head, and sigh to
make the point of exasperation? That’s Nathan Lane in The Bird
Cage, not John Wayne. While any of pieces of body language alone
may be acceptable, culture has taught most males that this is simply
not acceptable male signaling. When we see this, it signals a
different kind of male to the American eye. Male children whose
primary caregiver is female may experiment with this signaling but
quickly adapt out of it as their role models become male.
Barriers
Americans have a different sensibility about space and hygiene
than most other cultures. Americans perceive an intrusion into per-
sonal space distressing, and that means any uninvited person needs
to stand back at least arm’s length. When viewing the body lan-
guage of others, Americans may read more into a relationship than
is really there simply by inference due to proximity. In the Arab
world, however, men may even stand close enough for noses to
touch. There is a famous news photo of an older Palestinian gentle-
man and an Israeli soldier within fractions of an inch of each other.
The solider is shouting and giving the international signal for “get the
hell out of here.” At first glance, violence looks imminent until you see