The Steps to Reading Body Language 19
prominently in my course on reading body language: culture. In this
section, I look at the human groupings that have a profound impact
on the way we express ourselves. You cannot hope to read body
language well unless you take culture into consideration. Next, I
move to person-to-person similarities, and then person-to-person
differences. After that, you can start to answer the question: What
are the differences between a person in a normal state—a state of
congruence between gestures and voice—and a person in the state
of sending verbal messages that conflict with non-verbal messages?
At this point, the focus goes to the individual.
What is normal for a particular person? What is abnormal for a
particular person? Those questions put us at the narrowest part of
the diagram. From there, I start moving back toward a broader
perspective. Exercises in applying the skill begin with a look at
celebrities, who give us a common point of focus. You know the
players; you see them every day on television. That sets the stage
for reading the body language of individuals around you, for under-
standing their motivation and drive in context. As you practice over-
laying the culture in your developing picture of what’s happening,
you can begin to employ the skill in one-on-one business and
personal relationships, and then expanding the application of your
expertise to groups.
Over time, your self-awareness of body language evolves as
you review, evaluate, analyze, and decide what other people are
doing. At that point, you’ve progressed to a level of knowledge and
control that gives you powerful advantages over most other people
in your daily life.