Using Body Language in Your Personal Life 263
ƒ Expressionless face.
ƒ Little to no eye contact.
The message this combination sends is a clear, “Go away.” Of
course, you could simply say, “Not interested,” and close the door,
but most Americans have a difficult time being that abrupt; we
have a difficult time saying no. That is the second part of our com-
plex personalities that we learn from our parents. After they teach
us by positive reinforcement that shaking our heads will cause them
to stop feeding us, then they teach us no is the word to stop doing
something. As soon as we master no, however, they glare at us and
say, “Don’t say ‘no’ to me!” The message stays with us our entire
lives.
Car dealer
A car dealer is a different breed of salesperson. Nearly no one
goes to a car dealer casually, without intent. Knowing that, he uses
the spider-to-the-fly invitation. He moves in for the kill when he
sees the body language of excitement, or at least interest. I do not
mean to imply that this skill reflects dishonesty. Some dealers genu-
inely want to serve your need for personal mobility. Others prey on
those who know the least and take the role of advisor by becoming
the expert. They tout safety features to new mothers and horse-
power to young men. The trick with this behavior is to project what
you want him to see and feign interest down several tracks to get
him to use everything in his repertoire.