Culture: The Big External Influence 55
with the group. These rites of passage traditionally occur at certain
times in a person’s assimilation with the group and can be formal or
informal. If rites of passage are rushed, delayed, or forgone, the
consequences can range from insignificant to dire. A son who lives
with his parents until 25 and suddenly becomes famous may have
minor repercussions as an adult, while the child whose sexual
maturity is rushed because she’s competing in beauty pageants at
the age of 5 may well have a difficult adult life. Expectations—
emotions that feed entitlements—will affect behavior.
In considering rites of passage, don’t overlook any human
interaction. Rites of passage are created to separate you from one
group and bond you to another forever, changing the way you think.
They may be elaborate and codified or spur of the moment. From
circumcision to baptism to your first pair of bifocals, each has an
effect forever on the way you perceive yourself. They summon the
sub-typical chimp to emulate the alpha.
At an early age, American boys learn restroom etiquette as
they observe dad, big brother, or uncle behaving “like a man” in the
restroom. (For many young boys, the rite of passage underlying this
is that they finally get to go to the restroom with dad instead of
mom.) This behavior relates closely to rituals similar to the secret
handshake of the Freemasons: every time a person participates in
some activity, it leaves residual memory. In some cases, it even
becomes muscle memory, because done enough times, the action
becomes involuntary.