Questions stay with us
People choose us on the basis
of the state we induce in them
enjoyed the run up to the presentation and I’m looking forward
to the next one. Thank you.
Yours peacefully
John
Many people have choice: Choice of who to use as our
supplier, choice of who we remain with in a relationship,
choice of whose method of presentation appeals to us most,
choice of who we want to do business with. For the fortunate
the choice is literally endless. So we need more than ever
before to be aware of whether we are offering a choice to
others that they find appealing.
Maybe you think that people choose you for how you look,
for the products you offer, for the information you provide
them with. You are wrong. More than anything else people
choose you because of the influence you have on them.
Stephen Covey, in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,
talks of the legacy we leave. It is our legacy, not our arguments
or correctness, that determines whether others will come back
for more. And our legacy is the effect we have on others with
our actions and our words.
Just as we influence ourselves with our inner dialog, so we
influence others with the words we utter. And because of the
unconscious mind’s love of challenge, our questions have a
greater influence than our statements. Questions stay with us
until we have the answer and questions that we ask of others
will do the same. So awareness of the questions we ask is
important in realizing what state we are inducing in the
receiver of the question.
People do business with us, choose to be with us, or select
us as their supplier more on the basis of the state we induce
in them than any of the content we might offer. They don’t
usually realise that, but ask yourself who you would rather do
business with: someone who leaves you feeling invigorated
and inspired, or someone who leaves you feeling that the
world is dark and hopeless and full of woe? Would you choose
someone who leaves you feeling confident in yourself or
104 NLP AT WORK