potential influence you have over your experience.
Given that we have less and less control over the pattern of
external events, the place where there is room for growth is
within. In learning how to use technology we are looking
constantly to save time and effort. And yet the contexts in our
lives where we waste the most time are when and where we
create an effect in others through our language that
subsequently needs repair. If we become skilled in choosing
language in line with our own and others’ needs, we will save
hours, days, months, and even years in some cases from the
time it takes to achieve what we really want. How much new
technology can offer you that?
Challenging deletions, generalizations, and distortions in
language with rapport and when appropriate will reconnect
you and others with your experience. These challenges are a
way of restoring ownership and they are an elegant way of
empowering yourself and others to increase the choices you
have available to you. The skill of questioning is a way of
clarifying and influencing relationships.
PRECISION QUESTIONS 107The room for growth is
“within”THOUGHT PROVOKERS1Take a piece of paper and write down your ambitions for yourself
and what, if anything, gets in the way of your achieving them. Do
a brain dump—whatever comes to mind write it down. Set yourself
a limit of five minutes and keep writing whatever comes to mind in
that time.
2 Reread the passage you wrote about yourself. What patterns can
you detect? Use the questions set out in this chapter to challenge
those patterns for yourself.
3Test your own assumptions. Consider the following statements and
note your immediate thoughts:
aA friend in a computer software company tells you they have a
new managing director. She also says the MD is very young for
the job. In your mind how old would they be?
bA colleague tells you he is moving companies and getting a
significant pay increase. He currently earns $80,000 per
annum. How much do you imagine the pay increase to be?
cYour boss tells you she has an urgent job for you to do. When
do you imagine this has to be completed by?