How, not whyTaking controlinfluence how we experience our lives and what we get as a
consequence of our thinking.
The anchoring process is a vital way in which we influence
how we lead ourselves from within. We can choose the
experience we have in life, irrespective of external
circumstances.The previous examples demonstrate how we sometimes use
anchors in ways that trigger unresourceful states, such as
depression, anger, frustration, or unhappiness. These are
states that typically limit our subsequent behavioral choices.
Let’s suppose you are a person who sometimes gets stressed.
You might ask yourself, “How do I get that way?” This is a far
more useful question than “Why do I feel this way?” Asking the
“how” question raises awareness of the structure of the
experience, as opposed to reinforcing the reasons for the state
and consequently the state itself. When you ask “how” you
might discover that you just keep on thinking what might go
wrong! We can be very skilled at generating unresourceful
states for ourselves without realizing what we are doing. Most
of our limitations are self-taught.We were invited by a manufacturing company to explore the staff’s
resistance to the new appraisal scheme. We discovered that
previously the only time a manager typically sat down with a
member of their staff was when they perceived a problem. Any
discussion between a manager and a member of staff was usually
a critical one. It was no surprise, then, to understand that the staff
would be reluctant to welcome any scheme that promoted a
discussion with their manager! The managers were unwittingly
linking (anchoring) discussions about problems with the appraisal
scheme.By using anchors hand in hand with outcome thinking, we can
begin to take control of the effect we have on ourselves and
others. For example, we can decide first of all how we want to
feel in key situations such as:192 NLP AT WORK