are providing you (unconsciously) with the opportunity of
learning how to deal with awkward questions and thereby
improving your skills as a presenter and negotiator.
In the scenario involving James earlier in this section, his
ability to adopt different perceptual positions and to consider
the positive intention behind his manager's behaviour will
affect his response to the situation.
James was experiencing the situation with his manager from
a dominant 1st position. When James did eventually step into
2nd position, i.e., he put himself into his manager's shoes, he
experienced a strong feeling of insecurity and perceived the
ideas being presented to him by James as a threat to his
position. James (in 1st position) had never realized this
possibility and was shocked to appreciate how his manager
might be feeling. When James considered the situation
objectively from 3rd position, he realised that the more the
James in 1st position pushed and initiated new ideas, the more
his manager resisted and blocked him. By continuing to do
more of the same he was intensifying the response he received.
And the benefit to James of his manager's behavior?
(Remember, this does not have to be true. He only has to act
as if it were.) It could be that:
❏ He wants James to learn how to show real empathy toward
someone else.
❏ He is helping James to learn how to approach solutions at a
slower pace than previously.
❏ He wants James to prioritize and think through his ideas so
that he only puts over the ones that are of the highest
importance to everyone.
❏ He wants James to develop 2nd position thinking!
When James re-evaluated the situation, having experienced it
in 1st, 2nd, and 3rd positions, he decided to take a different
approach to the next meeting. He took more of a back seat
initially and supported the ideas his manager put forward. He
waited until his manager asked him for an idea before
volunteering any, and explained what support he would need
for the idea to work. He invited his manager to develop the
idea further. He regularly checked out how he thought his
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