324 NLP AT WORK
d The company you have applied to for a job turns you down.
e A colleague in another department fails to respond to your
requests for the information you need.- From which position (1st, 2nd, or 3rd) do you think each of these
people is operating:
a Peter was explaining to his team what he wanted from them.
When the team members didn't understand he became
frustrated and started to explain again in more detail. He felt
that although he had put forward ideas that would
undoubtedly benefit them in the long term, they were being
unreasonable by not appreciating what he meant. He found
the whole process depressing and decided to continue with it
anyway without consultation, as he knew they would
appreciate it in the end.
b Jenny was a member of a project team. The success of the
project was crucial for the company and the team frequently
worked late and intensely to achieve the deadlines. Often the
discussion in these late night sessions would become quite
heated. Jenny stayed calm and couldn't always understand why
the other members of the team got so upset. Sometimes they
would get frustrated with her and accuse her of not caring about
the project. She knew that she did, however, and was often able
to help reconcile different points of view within the team.
c Diane was considered to be a caring manager. She always took
account of the feelings of her team. She was cautious about
change, however, particularly changes that would upset anyone.
She was always available to counsel friends and colleagues, but
found that she would take on their feelings and often ended the
day feeling upset and depressed, even though she knew that she
had helped her colleagues by listening to them.
3 From what perspective do you operate primarily with:
❏ The person closest to you?
❏ Your colleagues?
❏ Your boss?
❏ The different members of your family?
4 If you have a website, imagine yourself in the shoes of someone
viewing it for the first time. How do you do? How does your
experience compare with the Store from Hell described in this
chapter? (Hopefully not at all!)