“Man is part of a chain of connecting humanity within a greater
universe. Feedback is a behavioural manifestation of beliefs and
values about the importance of interconnectedness between
people. By practising and developing feedback I nurture and
develop the connections between us and release myself to
become who I truly am. ‘I’ becomes ‘we/us’. By connecting with
you, I release myself from my own internal prison.”
Brian KeenanThe bonus of modeling is that as a result of the process we have
feedback to use for our own development and feedback to give
to the person or people we have modeled. However, just having
the feedback is not a sufficient qualification for giving it. A
number of other factors need to be present before and during
the process of offering and delivering the feedback. By giving
feedback we can also verify that what we believe we have
detected is also recognized by our subject.
Below are some steps that help ensure that the feedback
we have to give is received in a way that enhances learning for
both the giver and the receiver:❏ Check that you are in rapport with the person to whom you
propose giving the feedback. If you are not, do whatever it
takes to get that rapport before you even start the process.
❏ Ask yourself, “How is this feedback as true about me as it is
for the person to whom I am offering it?” In this way you will
create a connectedness in your thinking and in the way you
offer the feedback.
❏ Imagine how by accepting the feedback both you and the
other person can improve. Create this as a well-formed
outcome in your thinking.
❏ Frame the feedback first to say how it has come about or
what area of performance it relates to, so that you warm up
the receiver to what you are going to say next.
❏ If the other person does not immediately accept the
feedback, find another way to give it so they can
understand what you are offering them. Their ability to344 NLP AT WORK