We are interested in how we
make sense of our experience
in the present
instead. However, if I were to do this, it might help him fix the
problem for a while but it would not resolve the underlying
pattern.
I could go back to the source of the pattern. It is possible,
for example, that David experienced such difficulties as a child
with his father or father figure equivalent that he was unable to
cope emotionally. When children experience overwhelming
emotional situations that they cannot deal with in a productive
way, they shut them out. Either that or they dissociate from the
experience or distort it in some way so that they are able to
make sense of something that is beyond comprehension for
them. I could take any of these approaches, but with NLP what
we are interested in is how we make sense of our experience
in the present. David has a structure that he brings to each of
the situations he experiences. Changing his place of work or
the people with whom he works will not ultimately make a
difference. What is important is that David learns how to
change the structure of his thinking and behavior that leads
him to replay a pattern of the past.
NLP-based coaching is about the process and not about
content. When we find a way to develop the process of what we
are doing, we influence all of the situations of the same kind.
When we teach a man how to fish we feed him for life.
So in essence what we are doing when we coach using NLP is
making the person being coached aware of the process they
are living out. Just becoming aware that this process is a choice
we are making in the present is an influence in itself. And
standing back and reviewing the structure of that experience
and deciding which bits we want to keep and which develop is
life changing. This is how with NLP we can learn to remove the
self-learned barriers and the obstacles to realizing our greater
potential.
An intruder recently broke into my mother’s house in Liverpool.
He stole jewelry and money. She is 90 years old and the shock
354 NLP AT WORK