“What specifically do you need for your soufflé?” you might
discover that the other person needs just the pulp. You know
that you only need the skin, the zest, for your cake. It is
possible for you both to have exactly what you want.
Chunking up and chunking down is the essence of skilled
negotiation. It opens the doors to the likelihood of achieving a
win/win position, in which both parties achieve all they want.Where in time do you put your attention? Some people live
their lives in the past, thinking about what has gone before.
Some people live for the moment, and their attention is on the
present. Some are continually planning and thinking about the
future. You may have experienced these kinds of questions
that look to the future:❏ What's for dinner?
❏ How long until we get home?
❏ Where are we going on holiday?
❏ What's next on the agenda?
❏ What I want to achieve by the end of the project is...Or you may know someone who concentrates on the past:❏ What did you say earlier?
❏ Did you see what that person was wearing?
❏ Do you remember when we were on holiday?
❏ The last meeting we had was important.There is no right or wrong, no good or bad, but this does have
implications for how people communicate with each other. A
friend called to invite me to a school reunion to talk over old
times. As someone whose attention is more on the present
and the future, the thought of reminiscing about the past
didn't strike me as an attractive proposition!44 NLP AT WORK