that each person might say to each other. Consequently his eyes
went down and to his left. At the same time the muscles in his
face tautened and he lowered his head. You wouldn’t have to
have too many meetings with Peter in this state to begin to know
what was going to happen next!If we are remembering a happy memory we also show it in our
body language.When Julia thought about the success she had achieved in her
involvement with the board of directors she looked up and to
her left initially (remembering what one of the most successful
meetings looked like). She then started to smile slightly and
looked down and to her right (as she associated into her
feelings when the board had achieved a major agreement
about the way forward in the business and had done so in a very
creative way). She looked sideways and to her right as she
imagined some of the conversations she expected to have in the
next meeting. All the time she was rhythmically swinging her
foot from side to side.Our body language reveals the truth of our inner thoughts and
feelings and there is little we can do about the subtlest of
signals that we communicate to the world at large.In Chapter 3 I explained some of the different filters we use to
think and communicate. We can often detect these filters
through our language. And we can deduce the kind of thinking
that someone is doing by the patterns in their body language.
Remember that the patterns are only clues, not absolute proof.
It is our awareness of patterns in body language, verbal
language, and our knowledge of a person over time that enable
us to get closer to what is really going on in their thinking.
Nevertheless, the more we read the signals, the more we are
likely to choose the way of communicating with each person we
encounter that will enable us to relate to them effectively. Let’s
explore some of these body language patterns in more depth.70 NLP AT WORK
Spotting the filters
Body language reveals the
truth of inner thoughts and
feelings