176 Penny Edgell
“Standard package plus” (70–75 percent). This is the largest group, and it is made
up of congregations that have the standard package of family ministry, with one or
two additions. A conservative Protestant congregation might have the standard pack-
age plus a men’s ministry or a program for divorced people, and a liberal Protestant
congregation might have the standard package plus a daycare center or a work-stress
program.^9 A Catholic congregation might have the standard package and offer babysit-
ting and counseling.
“Innovators” (10–15 percent). This is a small group of congregations that has the
standard package plus multiple other programs, offered both formally and on an in-
formal, as-needed basis. Innovators tend to be large, and most of them are liberal or
moderate Protestant, but there are some conservative Protestant and Catholic inno-
vators, too. Innovator congregations are the only ones not organized around the nu-
clear family with children. These congregations are almost all large, with more than
250 members and very good financial resources. They have all hired pastors committed
to activism and change, and they are all congregations with a history of innovation in
other areas, not just family ministry. The kind of radical innovation that displaces the
nuclear family from the center of congregational life is rare in these communities, and
it takes place out of conscious intention, and takes significant resources to sustain.
Religious Familism Today
It has become common, in studies of evangelical Protestants, to talk about the “loose
coupling” that allows for an emphasis on male headship in the official rhetoric of the
church to coexist with egalitarian and nurturing relationships in practice within the
family (Woodberry and Smith 1998). Within the life of local congregations, this loose
coupling of the official ideology and the practice of ministry is not just a feature of
an evangelical religious culture. It characterizes the family ministry of congregations
across mainstream, white religious traditions.
In focus groups, pastors of mainline Protestant and Catholic congregations would
talk about the need to be inclusive of all individuals, regardless of family situation.
Going beyond the desire not to exclude anyone who does not “fit” with the nuclear
family model, these pastors would avow a feminist analysis of the harm and injustice –
to women, children, and men – fostered by patriarchal family structures. In the same
group discussions, however, these pastors would lament the lack of time contemporary
families have for congregational participation, and would talk fondly of the congre-
gations of their childhood, where “Mom stayed home” with the children, and took
responsibility for making sure the whole family was in church on Sunday. And the
practice of ministry in these churches does little to include those not fitting the two-
parent-with-children ideal. These congregations also routinely decouple their official
views on the family from unofficial discourse and daily practice.
“Ozzie and Harriet” were the 1950s ideal family, with Harriet at home raising the
children and doing volunteer work in the community, and Ozzie being the “orga-
nization man” who worked during the day to support the family’s suburban lifestyle.
(^9) In all cases, conservative Protestants offer more programs and services on an informal/as-
needed basis; others are more likely to have formal programs.