My subsequent desire to attain the status of sãvaka^21 instead, was
actually a desire aimed toward the same goal: a state free of kile-
sas and ãsava,^22 free of all dukkha, the Supreme Happiness, Nib-
bãna. As I’ve followed the righteous path through many differ-
ent lives, including my present status as a Buddhist monk, I have
always done my utmost to keep in touch with you. Throughout
this time, I have taught you as best I could with the immense
loving compassion that I feel for you. Never was there a moment
when I thought of forsaking you to seek only my own salvation –
my thoughts were constantly full of concern, full of sympathy for
you. I have always hoped to free you from the misery of birth in
saÿsãra, leading you in the direction of Nibbãna.
“Your abnormal reaction – feeling offended because you sup-
pose that I’ve abandoned you without any concern for your well-
being – is of no benefit to either of us. From now on, you should
refrain from such thinking. Don’t allow these thoughts to arise,
trampling all over your heart, for they will bring only endless
misery in their wake – a result incompatible with my objective, as
I strive with heartfelt compassion to help you out.
“Escaping without a care? Where have I escaped to? And
who is it I don’t care about? At this moment I am doing my utmost
to give you every possible assistance. Doesn’t everything I’ve taught
you arise solely out of such compassionate concern as I am show-
ing you right now? The constant encouragement I have provided
comes straight from a heart full to the brim with a compassion
that exceeds all the water in the great oceans, a compassion that
pours forth unsparingly, without concern that it might run dry.
Please understand that helping you has always been my intention
and accept this Dhamma teaching that I offer. If you just trust me
jacob rumans
(Jacob Rumans)
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