of it sent shock waves of fear through him, nearly scaring him out
of his wits. In that instant, he completely forgot his teacher and
the sense of courage that glowed so brightly while he sat listening
to him in the monastery. Fear overwhelmed his heart and he was
helpless to prevent it. He walked over and erased all traces of the
paw-print with his foot, but the fear persisted. Still, he did feel a
little better not having to look at it anymore.
From the moment he glanced down to discover the tiger’s
paw-print, he was terrified – a paralyzing fear lasting all night.
Even during the day, his fear remained; but it became especially
intense once night fell, as he imagined the whole area around his
cave to be teeming with huge tigers. To make matters even worse,
he had a sudden recurrence of malaria, with fever and chills. He
felt as though he had fallen into a living hell devoid of any physical
or mental comfort whatsoever. To his great credit, he was tough
enough mentally to resist the temptation to give up his painful
attempts at finding a means to overcome his fear. The worsening
fever, combined with his agonizing fear of tigers, did unsettle his
composure, however, nearly driving him crazy.
Once in a long while he thought of Ãcariya Mun’s kind-
ness and the advice he had given, which temporarily helped to
douse the fires of misery burning in his heart. As symptoms of
the malaria became more and more intense, he reflected back on
his earlier intention to sacrifice his life in that cave: Previously, I
made a decision to sacrifice my life here. When Ãcariya Mun asked
me where I was going, I immediately announced that I was going
off to die in this cave. And as I hiked up here, I felt as though I was
walking on air, such was my determination to brave death. So, why
is it that upon reaching the cave and actually entering the jaws of
jacob rumans
(Jacob Rumans)
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