326 Derrida 1963–1983
[.. .] After the ‘work’ of the autumn (teaching, several articles,
conference papers, trips until February), I endured – it was
triggered or signalled by those attacks of ‘renal colic’ (appar-
ently no kidney stones) – a travail of body and soul, I mean of
conscious and unconscious in the shape of nervous exhaustion
and boundless discouragement.^53This anguish in the face of ‘what resembled the worst of things’,
especially since the symptoms seemed similar to the malady that had
killed his father, did not stop him dealing as best he could with work
in progress. But it probably played a part in the aggression shown
by Derrida in a debate with Hans-Georg Gadamer. He acknow-
ledged as much twenty years later, in a posthumous homage to the
great German philosopher of hermeneutics:
Some people criticized me for never having really entered into
the open dialogue that Gadamer had initiated in April 1981 at
the Goethe Institute in Paris and from which I seemed to have
withdrawn. I am inclined to think that they were not wrong.
The reply he gave to my own replies, during our encounter
in 1981, ended with these words, and, fi lled with admiration
for his benevolence, his smiling generosity and his perspic-
acity, I would like to say that I completely agree with him:
‘Any reading which seeks to understand is merely a step on a
path that never comes to an end. Anyone who sets out on this
path knows that he will never get “to the end” of his text; he is
grasped by it. When a poetic text has touched him to the point
that he ends up by “entering” it and recognizing himself in it,
this presupposes neither agreement nor confi rmation on his
part. One abandons oneself so as to fi nd oneself. I don’t think
I am so far away from Derrida when I emphasize that we never
know in advance what we will be when we fi nd ourselves.54*To his pleasant surprise, the political change which Derrida said
he hoped for, albeit without great conviction, actually happened.
On 10 May 1981, François Mitterrand was elected President, and at
the parliamentary elections on 14 and 21 June 1981, a ‘pink wave’
gave the Socialist Party and its allies a very large majority. Pierre
Mauroy was appointed Prime Minister, Jack Lang Minister for
Culture, Alain Savary Minister for Education, and four communists
were brought into the government. While he was happy at this new
state of aff airs, Derrida was unaware of just how important it would
soon be for him. He did not want to hear anything more about
- And each other – on se trouvera. – Tr.