The Walls of Louis-le-Grand 1949–1952 53
as ‘human-reality’ suggested by Henry Corbin in 1938 and later
popularized by Sartre in Being and Nothingness.^34 Unfortunately, at
that period, Derrida’s knowledge of the German language was too
limited for him to read the original texts by himself.
As the written exams approached, in spring 1952, he was a little
less anxious than in the two previous years. His marks for this year
were very satisfactory and neither his teachers nor his fellow pupils
had any doubts about his success. If his Latin was still ‘uneven’,
‘decisive progress’ had been made in the second term. In English,
he was viewed as ‘very hardworking’, despite the frequent absences
owing to his still uncertain health. In French, this ‘very good pupil’
was simply advised to abstain from a ‘tendency to complication’ and
to ‘superior verbalism’.
In philosophy, where his results had always been good, Derrida
was really starting to shine. When handing essays back to his
students, Borne, who rarely complimented anyone, often made
very fl attering remarks about Derrida’s work. In the fi rst term, he
only came third, but his average mark was 14.5 (‘excellent in every
respect; very fi ne philosophical qualities’). In the second term, he
came top, with a 16/20 that was exceptional for Louis-le-Grand
(‘reliably brilliant results; a defi nite philosophical personality’). The
day before the exam, Borne got Jackie to write one last essay, whose
subject had obviously been concocted with him in mind: ‘Do you
have a philosophical mind? Do you think, if you look into yourself,
that there is an incompatibility between the literary mind and the
philosophical mind?’ Borne did not give a mark for this piece of
work, simply appending this fl attering judgement: ‘Coherent and
thought through. You must succeed.’
None of this ruled out anxiety, since Derrida knew that he might
crack up at the last minute. This time, it would be a real drama: if
he failed again, the doors of the École Normale Supérieure would
be closed to him once and for all. Even if the temptation to reach
for the Maxiton was great, he tried not to overdo it. The night
before the fi rst exam, unable to get off to sleep, he woke up the two
old ladies from whom he rented his room and with whom he had
become friendly over the past few months. He drank several tisanes
as he talked with them, and eventually went back to bed.
The written exams went by without too many snags. Over the
next few weeks, Derrida prepared for the orals, which he dreaded
even more, as he feared losing all his self-confi dence. Even if you
were gifted and worked really hard, a place at Normale Sup was
never guaranteed. In Jackie’s class, only Serres, Lamy, Bellemin-
Noël, Carrive, and Aucouturier would pass at the same time
as he did. Pupils as brilliant as Michel Deguy and Pierre Nora
would fl unk the exam, and they bore the scars for the rest of their
lives.