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300 KARL MARX: A BIOGRAPHY
'My wife tells me every day that she wishes she were in the grave with
the children and I really cannot blame her.'^144 In January 1863 , as a result
of pressing money problems and Jenny's reaction to them, there occurred
the only serious quarrel between Marx and Engels. On 6 January Mary
Burns died. She had been living with Engels for nearly twenty years and
he regarded her as his wife. On hearing of her death Marx wrote simply
that 'the news of Mary's death both surprised and shocked me very much.
She was very good-natured, witty and devoted to you', and then continued
immediately to give Engels a lengthy description of his financial
troubles.^145 Engels replied after a few days: 'You will find it natural that
my own trouble and your frosty reception of it made it positively imposs-
ible for me to answer you earlier. All my friends, including philistine
acquaintances, have shown me on this occasion, which was bound to
touch me very nearly, more sympathy and friendship than I could expect.
You found the moment suitable to enforce the superiority of your cold
thought processes.'^146 Marx waited ten days before replying:
I thought it good to let some time pass before I answered you. Your
situation on the one hand and mine on the other made it difficult to
take a 'cool' look at the situation.
It was very wrong of me to write you the letter, and I regretted it
as soon as it was posted. But it did not happen out of heartlessness.
My wife and children will bear me witness that when your letter came
(it was early in the morning) I was as much shattered as by the death
of one of those nearest to me. But when I wrote to you in the evening,
it was under the impression of very desperate conditions. I had the
landlord's broker in the house, the butcher protesting at my cheque,
shortage of coals and food, and little Jenny in bed. In such circum-
stances, I can generally save myself only by cynicism.^147
This in turn led to a quarrel between Marx and Jenny. Marx had written
in the same letter of excuse to Engels that 'what made me particularly wild
was the fact that my wife believed that I had not sufficiently accurately
communicated the true state of affairs to you'.^148 Marx considered that
Jenny had forced him into a false position with regard to Engels.
I can now tell you without further ceremony [he wrote to Engels] that,
in spite of all the pressure I have endured during the last weeks, nothing
burdened me - even relatively speaking - as much as this fear that our
friendship should now break up. I repeatedly told my wife that nothing
in the whole mess was important to me compared with the fact that,
owing to our lousy bourgeois situation and her eccentric excitement, I
was not in a position to comfort you at such a time, but only to burden
you with my private needs.
Consequendy domestic peace was much disturbed and the poor