Feist−Feist: Theories of
Personality, Seventh
EditionII. Psychodynamic
Theories- Fromm: Humanistic
Psychoanalysis
(^198) © The McGraw−Hill
Companies, 2009
another, to a group, or to an institution in order to become one with the world. “In
this way he transcends the separateness of his individual existence by becoming part
of somebody or something bigger than himself and experiences his identity in con-
nection with the power to which he has submitted” (Fromm, 1981, p. 2).
Whereas submissive people search for a relationship with domineering people,
power seekers welcome submissive partners. When a submissive person and a dom-
ineering person find each other, they frequently establish a symbiotic relationship,
one that is satisfying to both partners. Although such symbiosis may be gratifying,
it blocks growth toward integrity and psychological health. The two partners “live on
each other and from each other, satisfying their craving for closeness, yet suffering
from the lack of inner strength and self-reliance which would require freedom and
independence” (Fromm, 1981, p. 2).
People in symbiotic relationships are drawn to one another not by love but by
a desperate need for relatedness, a need that can never be completely satisfied by
such a partnership. Underlying the union are unconscious feelings of hostility. Peo-
ple in symbiotic relationships blame their partners for not being able to completely
satisfy their needs. They find themselves seeking additional submission or power,
and as a result, they become more and more dependent on their partners and less and
less of an individual.
Fromm believed that loveis the only route by which a person can become
united with the world and, at the same time, achieve individuality and integrity. He
defined love as a “union with somebody, or something outside oneself under the con-
dition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one’s own self” (Fromm, 1981,
p. 3). Love involves sharing and communion with another, yet it allows a person the
192 Part II Psychodynamic Theories
Relatedness can take the form of submission, power, or love.