334 The Social Self
Oakes & Turner, 1980). Thus self-esteem is not only per-
sonal: It also includes a person’s evaluations of the groups to
which he or she belongs.
Is High Self-Esteem Always Good
To place the findings about self-esteem in perspective, it is
useful to ask how important and beneficial high self-esteem
actually is. In America today, many people seem to believe
that high self-esteem is extremely beneficial. The strong be-
lief in the benefits of self-esteem is a major reason it remains
a popular topic of discussion and research. By one count,
there are almost 7,000 books and articles about self-esteem
(Mruk, 1995). The belief that high self-esteem is a vital as-
pect of mental health and good adjustment is strong and
widespread (e.g., Bednar, Wells, & Peterson, 1989; Mruk,
1995; Taylor & Brown, 1988). In many studies, in fact, self-
esteem is measured as an index of good adjustment, so that
even the operational definition of healthy functioning in-
volves self-esteem (e.g., Kahle, Kulka, & Klingel, 1980;
Whitley, 1983).
However, there is a “dark side” to high self-esteem, espe-
cially concerning interactions with others. In one study, peo-
ple with high self-esteem were more likely than most people to
aggress against others and to be interpersonally violent
(Baumeister, Smart, & Boden, 1996). Aggression seems to be
most common among people who think well of themselves but
then interact with someone who disputes their favorable self-
appraisal. In particular, inflated, unrealistic, or fluctuating
forms of high self-esteem predict outbursts of violence and ag-
gression. This most likely occurs because these types of self-
esteem are the most vulnerable to ego threats (e.g., Blaine &
Crocker, 1993; Kernis, Granneman, & Barclay, 1989). People
appear to lash out at others who criticize them as a way of
avoiding any decrease in their self-esteem and the accompa-
nying negative emotion (especially shame; see Tangney,
Wagner, Fletcher, & Gramzow, 1992). Normally, people with
high self-esteem do not seem defensive, but that may be
because they usually think highly of themselves and expect to
succeed at most things. When they do fail or are rejected, they
are very surprised and thus may respond dramatically.
Inflated self-esteem also predicts social maladjustment. In
one study, researchers compared people’s self-descriptions
with the descriptions of their friends (Colvin, Block, &
Funder, 1995). This identified a group of people who thought
more highly of themselves than warranted by the opinions of
their friends. When followed over time in a longitudinal de-
sign, these self-enhancing people displayed poor social skills
and decreased psychological adjustment. In a laboratory
study, the people in this group tended to express hostility,
interrupt others, be socially awkward, irritate others, talk at
people instead of talking with them, and perform a variety of
other negatively evaluated behaviors. The composite picture
is one of a self-centered, conceited person who lacks genuine
regard for others. This picture is quite consistent with the lit-
eral meaning of high self-esteem, even though it does not fit
the popular stereotype.Narcissism and Interpersonal RelationshipsAnother individual difference likely to affect interpersonal
relationships is narcissism,usually defined as an exaggerated
view of one’s importance, influence, and entitlements. People
high in self-esteem are more likely to be high in narcissism,
although the correlation is low to moderate rather than high.
The imperfect correlation probably reflects the fact that
high self-esteem is a very heterogeneous category, including
plenty of arrogant, narcissistic people as well as others who
simply accept themselves without assuming they are superior
to others. Put another way, narcissism is a subcategory of
high self-esteem; very few people score high in narcissism
but low in self-esteem.
Generally, narcissists tend not only to feel good about
themselves, but also to expect deference and recognition from
others. Thus, in some ways narcissism is more interpersonally
relevant than self-esteem. Campbell (1999) found that narcis-
sists were more interpersonally attracted to highly positive
and highly admiring individuals. Narcissists were less at-
tracted to people who offered greater amounts of emotional
intimacy. This occurred because narcissists preferred partners
who were more self-oriented rather than other-oriented,
as part of a strategy to enhance self-esteem. Thus, narcissists
found it more important to be with someone who made them
look good rather than to be with someone who truly cared for
them. This overall strategy for self-enhancement is linked to
a noncaring, nonintimate experience of interpersonal rela-
tionships in general. Compared to non-narcissists, narcissists
report lower levels of empathy (Watson, Grisham, Trotter, &
Biderman, 1984), intimacy (Carroll, 1987), communion
(Bradlee & Emmons, 1992), caring (Campbell, 1999), and
selflessness (Campbell, Foster, & Finkel, 2000). It seems that
a narcissist’s first question in a relationship is “What can you
do forme?”
Narcissists also tend to react badly when they are criti-
cized or challenged by others. In laboratory experiments,
Bushman and Baumeister (1998) found that narcissists were
considerably more aggressive toward someone who had in-
sulted them, as compared to non-narcissists. When the