Handbook of Psychology, Volume 5, Personality and Social Psychology

447

Use of Communal Norms and

Relationship Satisfaction 453

Can We Follow Contingent Rules Anyway? 453

Even If We Could Follow Contingent Norms, Do We Have

Access to the Necessary Information? 454

ARE CONTINGENT RULES EVER USED

IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS? 454

When Will People Switch? 455

The Situation Matters 455

Individual Differences Matter 456

Evidence 456

Permanent or Temporary Switches? 458

CONCLUSIONS 458

REFERENCES 459

In this chapter we draw links between well-being in close re-
lationships and the application of fairness rules in those rela-
tionships. In doing so we discuss and link two literatures: a
large (and growing) literature on close relationships and a far
smaller (and increasingly less active) literature dealing with
distributive justice rules and perceptions of fairness in inti-
mate relationships. In sketching out links we set forth some
theoretical ideas both about what constitutes a high-quality
relationship and about how use of fairness norms relates to
the quality of what are often called close relationships—

friendships, romantic relationships, marriages, and family

relationships.

DEFINING QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS

What constitutes a good, high-quality friendship, dating rela-

tionship, marriage, or family relationship? What differenti-

ates a high-quality close relationship from one of lower

quality? Surprisingly, until quite recently most social and

even clinical psychologists had not tackled this question. We

attempt to do so in this chapter. First, though, because rela-

tionship quality often has been equated with relationship

stability, with relationship satisfaction, or with the lack of

conflict in a relationship, we begin with arguments against

using those relationship characteristics as indexes of the

overall quality of a relationship.

Stability Is Not Enough

Although at first blush equating relationship stability and

relationship quality seems reasonable, making this general

assumption is unwise. After all, many stable relationships are

Preparation of this chapter and of some of the empirical work cited
within the chapter was supported by the National Science Founda-
tion under grant 9983417. The second author’s participation was
supported by B/Start Grant 1-R03 MH57914 from the National In-
stitute of Mental Health. Any opinions, findings, conclusions, or rec-
ommendations expressed in this material are those of the authors and
do not necessarily reflect the views of the National Science Founda-
tion or the National Institute of Mental Health. The authors thank
Kristin Boyd, Brooke Feeney, Patricia Jennings, and R. Virginia
Fraser for comments on earlier versions of this manuscript.

CHAPTER 18

Close Relationships

MARGARET S. CLARK AND NANCY K. GROTE

DEFINING QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS 447
Stability Is Not Enough 447
Satisfaction Is Not Enough 448
Lack of Conflict Is Not Enough 448
Good Relationships Foster Members’ Well-Being 448
Agreement on Levels of Responsibility Matters 449
NECESSARY ABILITIES AND FORTITUDES 451
Responding Effectively to a Partner’s Needs 451
Alerting Partners to Your Needs 451
Knowing When to Be Communal 452
LINKING RELATIONSHIP AND JUSTICE RESEARCH 452
Following Communal Norms Affords Security; Following
Contingent Norms Undermines Security 452
People Advocate and Follow Communal Norms 452