32 GOOD MORNING, HOLY SPIRIT
prayer life. It occupied my time and attention five days a
week. It became my mentality. I practically lived at the
convent, and in that cocoon I become very detached from
the world.
I was also separated from the world in an unfortunate
way. From earliest childhood I was afflicted with a severe
stutter. The smallest amount of social pressure or
nervousness triggered my stammering, and it was almost
unbearable. I found it difficult to make friends. Some
children made fun of me—others just stayed away.
I knew very little of world events—only what my
teachers wanted me to know. But I was an expert on the
Catholic life. As the schooling continued, I attended the
College de Frere (College of Brothers) and was taught by
monks.
Even as a small boy, I was extremely religious. I prayed
and I prayed—probably more than some Christians pray
today. But all I knew how to pray was the Hail Mary, the
Creed, the Lord's Prayer, and other prescribed prayers.
Only rarely did I really talk to the Lord. When I had
some specific request, I mentioned it. Otherwise my prayer
life was all very organized. Very routine.
The one maxim seemed to be, "You should feel pain
when you pray." And that was easy. There was practically
nowhere to kneel except on the white Jerusalem rock that
was everywhere. Most of the homes are made of it. And the
schools I attended had no carpet, just plain white rock
floors.
I actually came to believe that if you didn't suffer with
your supplication, the Lord wouldn't hear you, that
suffering was the best way to gain God's favor.
Even though virtually no spirituality accompanied the