There are many reasons that people can be difficult (whether it
is you or them). Here are some instances:
■ a fundamental disagreement about policy;
■ rivalry;
■ different values about how things should be done;
■ a real or imagined slight;
■ arrogant behaviour – or behaviour perceived as arrogant;
■ a feeling that they are not valued for their contribution or
themselves;
■ frustrated ambition – where the cause of frustration is attrib-
uted to you;
■ not being given the attention they believe they deserve;
■ not being able to get their own way;
■ lack of trust;
■ insecurity;
■ concern about the impact of change;
■ too much pressure – real or perceived.
In addition, there is the Dr Fell reason for being difficult:
I do not love thee, Dr Fell,
The reason why I cannot tell;
But this I know, I know full well,
I do not love thee, Dr Fell.The last reason is, of course, the hardest to deal with. An attempt
can be made to handle the other instances, although success will
depend on how much effort you put into it, and will be limited
or delayed if the causes of disagreement are deeply seated or are
based more on prejudice than on reason (which is often the case).
Ten approaches to handling difficult people
- Anticipate problems as far as possible. Look for the signs
and take swift action in one or more of the ways described
below. - If a difficulty arises or is anticipated, subject your own
behaviour to close scrutiny. Is this because of something you
have done, or how you have been behaving? If so, what are
you going to do about it? If you can anticipate a difficulty
you may be able to nip it in the bud by having an informal
How to Handle Difficult People and Negative Behaviour 93