often talk, or even shout, themselves out of being aggressive
when they realize that you are not reacting aggressively and
that their behaviour is not getting them anywhere.
■ Suggest, if all else fails, that you leave it for the time being
and talk about it again after a cooling-off period.
INFLUENCING STYLES
Assertiveness is about fighting your own corner. You have to
believe in yourself and what you are doing and express these
beliefs confidently and without hesitation. It is about using influ-
encing skills.
There are four influencing styles you can use:
- Asserting– making your views clear.
- Persuading– using facts, logic and reason to present your
own case, emphasizing its strong points (benefits to the or-
ganization or the individual(s) you are dealing with), antici-
pating objections to any apparent weaknesses and appealing
to reason. - Bridging– drawing out other people’s points of view, demon-
strating that you understand what they are getting at, giving
credit and praise in response to their good ideas and sugges-
tions, joining your views with theirs. - Attracting – conveying your enthusiasm for your ideas,
making people feel that they are all part of an exciting
project.
There is more about influencing people in Chapter 16.
16 How to be an Even Better Manager