“To you who are divorced, please know that we
do not look down upon you as failures because a
marriage failed. In many, perhaps in most cases, you
were not responsible for that failure. Furthermore,
ours is the obligation not to condemn, but to forgive
and to forget, to lift and to help. In your hours of
desolation turn to the Lord, who said: ‘Come unto
me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and
I will give you rest....
“‘For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light’
(Matt. 11:28, 30.)
“The Lord will not deny you nor turn you away. The
answers to your prayers may not be dramatic; they
may not be readily understood or even appreciated.
But the time will come when you will know that
you have been blessed. For those of you who have
children and struggle to rear them in righteousness,
be assured that they will become a blessing and a
comfort and a strength to you throughout all the
years to come.
“Now to those of you who have lost a companion
in death, our hearts go out to you with love and
understanding. As a man once observed, ‘There exists
no cure for a heart wounded with the sword of
separation.’ (Hitopadesa, Elbert Hubbard’s Scrapbook,
New York City: Wm. H. Wise and Co., 1923, p. 21.)
“With many of you, there is the gnawing pain of
bereavement and fear. To you the Lord has said,
‘Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be
comforted.’ (Matt. 5:4.)
“We know that for many of you, there are days of
loneliness and nights of longing. But there is also
that which comes from Him who said, ‘I, even I,
am he that comforteth you.’ (Isa. 51:12.)
“The Lord is your strength. He is available to you, and,
when invited, by His Spirit He will come to you.
“You, too, have great talents to enrich the lives of
others. You will find comfort and strength as you
lose yourself in their service. Your own troubles will
be forgotten as you help others with theirs. Your
burdens will become lighter as you lift the burdens
of the downtrodden and the oppressed” (“To Single
Adults,” Ensign,June 1989, 74).
Elder Marvin J. Ashton
“Some mothers seem to have the capacity and
energy to make their children’s clothes, bake, give
piano lessons, go to Relief Society, teach Sunday
School, attend parent-teacher association meetings,
and so on. Other mothers look upon such women
as models and feel inadequate, depressed, and think
they are failures when they make comparisons.
“We should not allow ourselves to be trapped into
such damaging inferiority feelings. This is another
tool of Satan. Many seem to put too much pressure
on themselves to be a ‘supermom’ or ‘superwoman.’
“Sisters, do not allow yourselves to be made to feel
inadequate or frustrated because you cannot do
everything others seem to be accomplishing. Rather,
each should assess her own situation, her own energy,
and her own talents, and then choose the best way
to mold her family into a team, a unit that works
together and supports each other. Only you and
your Father in Heaven know your needs, strengths,
and desires. Around this knowledge your personal
course must be charted and your choices made” (in
Conference Report, Apr. 1984, 11; or Ensign,May
1984, 9–10).Elder Richard G. Scott
“President Benson has taught that a mother with
children should be in the home. He also said,
‘We realize... that some of our choice sisters are
widowed and divorced and that others find
themselves in unusual circumstances where, out
of necessity, they are required to work for a period
of time. But these instances are the exception, not
the rule’ (Ezra Taft Benson, To the Mothers in Zion
[pamphlet, 1987], pp. 5–6). You in these unusual
circumstances qualify for additional inspiration and
strength from the Lord. Those who leave the home
for lesser reasons will not” (in Conference Report,
Apr. 1993, 42–43; or Ensign,May 1993, 34).Elder Ben B. Banks
“We cannot overemphasize the importance of
parenthood and the family. Some Latter-day Saint
families are what we refer to as the ‘traditional
family,’ consisting of parents and children all together
in a permanent relationship, with both mother and
father sharing in the responsibility of caring for
children. Others have witnessed the loss of one of
the parents and become one of the many single-
parent families. I am one who grew up in a single-
parent home. My father lost his life as a result of
a construction accident when I was two years old,
leaving my mother with seven children to raise.
Even in single-parent families, the family continues312 SINGLEPARENTS