➟ Groomers look for emotional or character
weaknesses — if you’re lonely, they want to be your
friend; if you’re sad, they’ll cheer you up, if you’re in
need of money they have a get-rich-quick scheme.
➟ If they can, criminals may attempt to drive a wedge
between you and the people in your support network
because if you feel estranged from others you will be
easier to manipulate and they are more likely to suc-
ceed in their goal.
➟ Over time, a criminal will subtly seek information that
gives clues to your social standing, your financial assets,
your location, and so on. This may come in the form
of asking advice, including these types of questions:
- I’m unhappy with my current bank; what bank do
you use? - I’m tired of living in the Midwest; why did you pick
the town where you live? - E-mailing is so cumbersome. Here’s my phone
number; let’s talk sometime. (The person will see
your number on caller ID when you call.)
➟ Another method criminals use is to gain your sympa-
thy by telling you of their own hardships, with the
end game of asking you for a loan, or exploiting you
in some other way.
Anyone who’s been around the block a couple of times knows that con
artists use a thousand angles to elicit information — and that you have
to be on guard against these tactics. Always ask yourself, “What is moti-
vating this question or action?”
If a date or other online acquaintance asks you for a
loan or any financial information, no matter how sad
the hard-luck story, it’s virtually always a scam. Block
further contact and report it.
191Chapter 9: Dating Safely Online