18 • MODULE THREE: COMMUNICATION
For example
“I feel upset when you call me names and what I would like is for you to call me by my own name.”
This must be said in the assertive manner discussed earlier.- Give roles to groups of threes to play. Ask them to think through and present the role play.
One child plays the role of- A child who has just broken a friend’s toy or
- A young person who has lost a friend’s wrist watch he had borrowed or
- A husband comes home drunk.
The second child plays the friend who reacts to what has happened using the “You” word. For
example, “You fool, couldn’t you be careful!” or “You have ruined my day, I do not want to talk
to you” or “You do not care about me, and you do not give me money.”
The third child now substitutes with “I feel ...when/because...what I would like is ....”
- Tell the children that a new behavior always takes time to learn and may feel strange. Suggest
that they could try their newly learned assertive behavior in simple, positive situations before
trying them out in situations where you have to express unhappy or upset feelings.
For example, “I was happy when ...you remembered me on my birthday.”
With more confidence, you could try “I feel upset when you ...take my books without asking. I
would like you to ask me next time you want one of my books.”
Later, with even more confidence, you could try, “I feel scared and angry when you come home drunk. I
would like you to talk to me about it when you are sober so we can together try to stop this alcoholism.” - If you have time, repeat the Status and Power skits, and then modify them by assertive
behavior. You may choose situations featuring a husband and wife or a policeman and a street
child or a bully and a child. The result is very dramatic for the children. The facilitator helps the
children to relate the skills learned to the risky situations they face at this stage in their lives.
Review
Ask the children how they feel about learning this new skill- Do they know anyone, such as a friend, other adults, or someone they admire, who use these skills?
Linking Learning With Life
Ask children to use the “I Feel” statement in an assertive manner at least once before they come
for the next session.Experience from the field
In their communities, the children looked for someone who spoke in an assertive manner and found no
one. They observed in school too and failed to find anyone there as well. The only place they could find
the behavior being practiced was in the shelter. The children wanted to be assertive but found it very
difficult to do so. But it must be said that even then they tried. (CCDT, Mumbai)