Soren Kierkegaard

our Thursday walks, and for that reason I must ask you not to expect me
today. Whenthe situation is onceagain such that Iam again able tohave the
pleasure of doing so, I shall permit myself to send you a message inquiring as
to whether it might possibly be convenient for you as well. Yours, R. N.”
The reaction came swiftly: “Presumably this letter is yet another bit of
coyness intended to make me give in—for he has also taken advantage of
my hypochondria, in addition to having simply sought inspiration, time
after time.” The seven drafts that preceded Kierkegaard’s final reply make
it clear that he did not set much store by Nielsen’s reasons for not showing
up—that nonsense about “circumstances.” The first four drafts, each one
shorter than the one other, say the same thing in more or less identical
language: “How remarkable! The day before yesterday and yesterday, I was
really afraid that owing to circumstances (I had in fact caught a cold in the
process of moving to a new apartment, so that I daily expected to become
ill) I would have to send you a message calling off today’s walk, and then
today I received a note from you in which I learn that you, ’owing to
circumstances,’ et cetera.” Kierkegaard did not want to question Nielsen
about the aforementioned “circumstances,” but he felt obligated to make
it clear that it would be completely unreasonable for Nielsen to break off
their relationship—just because he had had a “little jab.” Kierkegaard ar-
gued: “If there is a relationship between us, I regard it as my obligation to
use my own criterion for once; I am also of the opinion (assuming we do
have a relationship) that I don’t exactly have a lot to thank you for.”
This was perhaps not the best way to reestablish the relationship. And in
fact Kierkegaard did not send the letter, but started all over again with these
words: “During the years I have conversed with you, the situation has been
more or less as follows: Regarding your public work (your writings), I have
told you quite emphatically that from my point of view I was unable to
approve of them. I have furthermore explained why this was so. You have
expressed yourself in such a manner that I believed I had been understood.
What is more, in private conversations you have always expressed yourself
very differently than in your public utterances. At the same time, you have
always said that I would see, that your next book would be different. And
for this very reason, I have continued to wait. But now this must come to
an end. I must hereby—entirely without any anger whatever—break off a
relationship that was begun with a sort of hope, neither am I abandoning
it without hope right now. This means that I can no longer take walks with
you on a regular, agreed-upon basis. If fate or providence should cause our
paths to cross, that would be something different; in that case it would be
a pleasure for me to speak with you as with so many others.”