a great deal, and at times he coughed. I was with him for a while, and he
complained in particular about his weakness and about the fact that he
couldn’t sleep at night....Iparted from him with the thought that he did
not have many days left here on this earth.”
THURSDAY,OCTOBER 25. Kierkegaard had a rectal injection of soapy
water, with good results. He himself believed that the effect was attributable
to his having eaten a couple of pears. Toward noon, Boesen came by. Kier-
kegaard complained that his hands were trembling and that the trembling
had now spread to his body. Boesen had brought with him a copy of a
valedictory sermon by Ferdinand Fenger, a Grundtvigian, but Kierkegaard
merely gave it a glance and asked Boesen to return it. Boesen was a little
offended by this, for the sermon had been an expression of good will on
Fenger’s part, and it could not simply be sent back. And Boesen suddenly
felt moved to say a few words in defense of the Grundtvigians whom Kier-
kegaard had attacked. “It is possible, of course, that there is a way to salva-
tion that leads through the Established Church,” Boesen objected, to which
Kierkegaard merely replied, “I cannot stand talking about this. It is too
much of a strain on me.” So Boesen changed the subject.
“Was there bad air in the bedroom [in his apartment] you had before?”
“Yes. I get very irritated when I think about it. I certainly noticed it.”
“Then why didn’t you move?”“I was under too much strain to do it. I still had several issues of
The Momentthat I had to get out and several hundred rixdollars left to
be used for that purpose. So I could have set it aside and spared myself,
or I could continue and then fall. I rightly chose the latter; then I was
finished.”
“Then you got out the issues ofThe Momentthat you wanted to?”
“Yes!”
“How strange that so many things in your life have just sufficed!”“Yes. And I am very happy about it, and very sad, because I cannot
share my joy with anyone.”FRIDAY,OCTOBER26. When Boesen visited the next day, Kierkegaard
kept the two nurses in the room with him. They spoke only about matters
so insignificant that Boesen did not even bother to write them down. This
scene repeated itself the next day. Kierkegaard felt “burdened.” The streets