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Chapter 4

discuss the possibility they are
experiencing sexual temptation.They do
not take proactive measures to avoid being
in a tempting situation again,nor do they
discuss the consequences of their
behavior.By not facing the temptation,
the temptation overcomes them.

Myth 4: You Have to Date to Find a Spouse

Actually,manypeopletodayreportthey
aremarryingtheirbestfriendswithout
goingthroughtheformalitiesand
complexitiesof traditionaldatingactivities.
Insteadof dating,theyfocusonhonestly
communicatingwithoneanotherand
sharinggoodtimesandbadtimestogether
asamoremeaningfulwaytodiscover
compatibilityasamarriedcouple.The
followingtestimonyilluminateshowone
Christianfoundaspousewithoutdating.

Intentional Singleness

In 1 Corinthians 7:38 (NLT),the

Apostle Paul said this:“So the person who

marries his fiancée does well,and the

person who doesn’t marry does even

better.”Are we to interpret this as advice

notto marry? Some commentators feel

Paul’s thinking may have been colored by

Nero’s persecution of believers,which

made life so uncertain.Others attribute

his stance to the first century belief they

were living in the end times.More likely,

Paul was extolling the single life for those

dedicated to Christian service.

Jesus was not married.A number of

his disciples,including Paul,were not

together.Muchtooursurprise,wehad

falleninloveandwerecomingtorealize

thatGodintendedforustobetogether

forlife.Wehadneverbeenonaformal

date—infact,hewasnotthetypeof

guyIwouldhavedated!Welaughed

aboutthis,andafterwewereengaged,

wefinallywentonarealdate:dinner

andamovie.Oh,andonthemorning

ofourweddingday,hecalledmeonthe

phoneandaskedmetomarryhim—we

hadjustgoneaheadandplanneda

weddingwithouthiseverofficially

asking!Thatwas29yearsagoandwe

arestillbestfriends.

WhenIwasincollege,afterhavinghad

myheartbrokenacoupleoftimes,I

gaveupondatingandfocusedonbeing

awomanofGod.Iwasinvolvedina

greatChristianfellowshipgroup.AsI

becameclosefriendswithseveralof

them,therewasoneparticularguywho

wasalwaysaroundwhenIneededto

talk.Wespentalotoftimetakingwalks

andtalkingaboutourpast,present,and

future.Afteraboutayear,wefound

ourselvestalkingaboutourfuture