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Love and Mate Selection:What’s Love Got To DoWith It??

them. Sometimes, however, one partner

chooses to maximize his or her own

interests, and exploits the other partner.

Clearly, this is not conducive to a loving

relationship.

Equity Theory

Theequity theory of mate selectionis

similar to exchange theory in that people

shouldbenefit froma relationship in

proportion to what theygive toa

relationship. Fairness is the hallmark

here, although how to judge what is

equitable or fair for the individuals

involved can be difficult.

Stage Theories

Stagetheoriesof mateselectiondescribe

howwemovethroughdistinctstagesaswe

develop.Insteadof experiencinggradual

changes,stagetheoriessuggestwemake

suddenshiftstodifferentplateausof

perceptionandbehavior.Theseshiftsoften

correlatewiththeepiphaniesor“ahas”of

personalexperience.

SVR Theory.Murstein’s (1987; Parsons,

1998)Stimulus-Value-Role (SVR) theory

of mate selectionsuggests we choose our

friends and partners through a three-stage

model.We then filter out people at each

stage who do not fit our preferences.

We tend to choose a mate who is similar to us in

interests, background, social status and personality.

ImagefromBigstockPhoto.com/Fotosmurf01

1. Intheinitialstimulusstage,we
   evaluatepeoplebasedonphysical
   appearance.Weareusuallyattracted
   topeopleof similarage,appearance,
   andethnicity.


2. Intheintermediatevaluestage,we
   evaluatetheotherperson’svalues,
   suchasattitudestowardreligion,
   sex,career,andfamily.If theirvalues
   aresimilarenoughtoourown
   values,wecanchoosetocontinue
   therelationship.


3. Intherolestage,weshareour
   activitiestobuildaworking
   relationship.Itispreferableforour
   likesanddesirestobe
   complementary(youdothis,while
   Idothat)andforourattitudes
   towardrolestobesimilar.