Chapter 9
(1999) note equal power often becomes
no power for anyone. Such an “every
person for him- or herself” environment
becomes ultimately unfulfilling for all
family members.
Marriage is not about the husband
having more power, or the wife having
equal power. A Christian marriage
acknowledges God has the power. The
husband and wife are servants—to God
and to one another. Egalitarian marriage
is not abouthispower orherpower, but
aboutGod’spower. According to the
Balswicks (1999), there is a balance of
power in a healthy home. It is an
empowering model of spouses building
each other up, valuing, and respecting
each other, rather than dominance.
To achieve a Christian marriage, the
couple has to getbeyondpower.They
must seekequityrather thanequality.
Equityis about justice—what is fair and
good. Equal power actually may not be
equitable. God did not create men andwomen exactly the same. Only the wife
can get pregnant, give birth, and nurse
a baby. If she chooses to stay home to
care for the baby, she gives up her
ability to add income to the family. She
might not be viewed asequalto her
husband as this decision relates to
income. And yet, this arrangement may
be considered veryequitable, because it
affirms the way God created her. She
should not feel as if she has less power
in the relationship because she works
all day for less (or no) pay.
Ephesians 5:21 says,“Submit to one
another out of reverence for Christ.”As
husband and wife submit themselves to
one another out of reverence for Christ,
they allow God to have total power in
their relationship. They put an end to the
game of who does more work, who earns
more, and who has more power. By
getting beyond the cultural game of
power, they realize true fulfillment in
serving one another.